Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Once in a while, we need enjoyable activitieshave to have enjoyment through things we always like to do to escape from our stressful work, so we do have a certain hobby. However, these hobbieshabitual things need not be difficultshould not be extreme for us to enjoy, because as long as we love what we do and we can afford it, then we will gain the enjoyment we seekget the pleasure we want to. For one, as long as we have a fondness forof what we like to do regularly, we can achieve enjoyment. For instance, my hobby is reading fiction and nonfiction books such as the Harry Potter seriesseries novel Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling and the Pretty Little Liars series by Sara Shepard. I really have loved reading sincelove to read since I was preschool agein my preschool age and I do this every weekend or whenever I am not busyevery weekend or I am not busy at work in the hospital. This is not a very difficult thing to do because I am just sitting on a couch or in my bed while doing this, but I always get the pleasure I wantwanted. In addition to this, these books are affordable which adds even moreso it more added to our indulgence. For example, there are pre-owned bookspreloaded books in Burnham Bookwormers bookstore locatedstore that is located in Baguio City, Philippines, in which we can purchase a second-hand book for only 10 to 20 pesos, an equivalent of half a US dollar. So it is very cheap. Whereas when we engage into extremely hard hobbies such sky-diving, cycling down a cliff or hand-feeding sharksfeeding a shark by our hands like others wanted to do, then we need to have a lot of money to be able to do such things, and we cannot enjoy these if we always think how much money we spent for these dangerous hobbies. In conclusion, it is always pleasurable to do activities of our great interest and at the same time economical. It does not need to be hard and risky like some would want it to have fun. So I highly recommend enjoying what you like doing as long as you can manage it economically.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly disagrees with the claim and supports that view through a detailed personal example and a contrast with costly, dangerous activities. However, it narrows 'difficult' largely to expense and risk, and the long reading example becomes more descriptive than analytical. Explain more directly why challenge is not necessary for enjoyment, balance the argument, and correct recurring tense and collocation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained with relevant examples, but difficulty is treated mainly as danger and cost rather than intellectual or skill-based challenge.
Explain that enjoyment can come from relaxation or interest, while acknowledging that some people enjoy mastery.
Coherence and Cohesion
The broad progression is understandable, but the essay is effectively one long paragraph and several connectors create fragments.
Use an introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is some range, but many phrases are unnatural, repetitive, or imprecise.
Use take pleasure in, have been reading since, affordable, and demanding hobbies.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent tense, preposition, agreement, and clause errors occur, though the central message remains understandable.
Check present perfect with since, condition clauses, and pronoun consistency.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.