Some people think governments should care more about elderly while others think they should focus on investing in education for younger people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many people todayThere are many today who believe that it is more important to prioritise education for younger people over looking after the elderly. In my opinion, this can be justified on utilitarian groundsmakes utilitarian sense but ignores more important justifications.
Those who argue in favour of education can easily point to its tangible benefitsdraw on the tangible benefits. Some nations have gone so far as to suggest that education is the most important national priority and deserves the greatest allocation of resources. This was famously the case in countries like Japan, South Korea, and Finland decades ago and the effectiveness of this approach is demonstrated byits efficacy has been evidenced by the growth of innovative industries and progressively rising standards of living. The conclusions from those countries is simple: money spent on education not only contributes to producing jobs in the short-term and stimulating the consumer economy, but the results years later of a well-educated populace will benefit political participation, the economy, safety, and a host of other areas.
Nonetheless, investment inon education has peaked and care for the elderly is a sadly neglected area. No one would suggest drastically slashing education budgets, but some resources ought to be diverted to the people who contributed most to present living standardsstangards. Past generations often had to work longer hours at more difficult jobs to build the modern infrastructure and political and economic systems now taken for granted. As these people age, many of them struggle to pay their billsstruggle with paying the bills if they do not have a supportive, financially stable family. They might not be able to work anymore so it therefore falls to the government to find ways of taking care of them ranging from retirement homes to monthly checks for living expenses to being aware of how policy changes might affect older people.
In conclusion, education is crucial, buteducation is crucial but it is more important to keep in mind the debt owed to the elderly and take good care of them. Governments must of course balance a multitude of priorities but olderold people should not slip down the list.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its mature, well-developed comparison of educational investment with society's obligations to older people, supported by relevant explanations and a consistently clear preference. Its main limitation is that a few broad assertions, especially that investment in education has peaked, are insufficiently substantiated. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify such claims and make the proposed resource trade-off more concrete.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly, and the preference for greater care of older people is clearly maintained and substantially developed.
Support the claim that educational investment has peaked and specify how governments should balance or redirect resources.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion.
Make the shift from educational benefits to resource reallocation even sharper by explicitly linking the competing priorities.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, flexible, and generally precise, with effective choices such as 'utilitarian,' 'efficacy,' and 'populace.'
Correct isolated slips in collocation and spelling, including 'investment in education' and 'standards.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the occasional error does not impede communication.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and remove redundant linking in sentences such as those using both 'so' and 'therefore.'
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think governments should care more about elderly while others think they should focus on investing in education for younger people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.