People are now living longer than ever before and many old people are unable to look after themselves. Some people believe that it is the responsibility of families to look after the elderly, while others say governments should provide retirement homes for them where they can be looked after properly. Discuss.
Sample Response
Nowadays people are living more than 80 or even 100 years and most of them are unable to look after themselves. The controversy over who is responsible for providing services to elderly peopleproviding service for elderly people is hotlyhot debated. Some individuals suggest that families are required to care for elderly peoplecare the old people, others argue that the government should organise retirement homes for older people. In many countries, people firmly believe that families should take care of elderly relativestake care the old ones who are unable to do it themselves. For example, in Russia and China, it is common beliefbelieve that it is thea responsibility of families and if a family decidesdecide to send its parents to a retirement hometheir parents to the retirement home it is considered disrespectful. Therefore, most familiesmost of the families do it themselves. There is a general beliefbelieve that families can provide better carefamilies can care better and provide reasonable services to their elderly relativestheir old generation than retirement homes canrather than it could be done in the retirement homes where the service is poor and insufficientnot sufficient enough. In additionNot only this, it is considered that the most significant source of happiness can give grandchildren and children to the elderly whereas it cannot be provided by any of the retirement places. On the other hand, an opposing view existsthe different opinion exists that the government should ensure a place in retirement homes for the elderlyin the retirement homes for elderly. For example, in Australia and Canada people argue that the government should give a place to elderly people when they are unablethe eldest when they are unable to provide care for themselves because the families should work, raise their children and live their lives most of all looking after themselves and the next generation. In those countries, the way of thinking and beliefs differ from those in Russia and Chinabelieves vary to Russia and China and people can rely on such institutions like retirement homes to look after their parents where the service is good and pleasant. To sum up, there are two opinions about who should look after the old individuals and for different countries, there is a different way to go. In my opinion, no matter who takes care the old parents, it should be done properly and from the bottom of the hearthard. In the perfect situation, a balance is required between families and the retirement homes to look after the eldest.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both family care and government retirement homes with relevant country-based illustrations, and its balanced conclusion is clear. Its effectiveness is reduced by the absence of paragraph breaks and by frequent errors in word forms, articles, agreement, and collocation. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the two views into distinct body paragraphs and edit sentences for accurate, natural expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are addressed with relevant reasons and examples, and the conclusion presents a clear balanced view.
Develop the examples beyond broad national comparisons by explaining the practical conditions under which each form of care works best.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas move logically from family care to government provision and then to a conclusion, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, the two opposing views, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing care, responsibility, and institutions, though repeated word-form and collocation errors reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as “care for elderly people,” “a common belief,” and “from the bottom of the heart.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is attempted and the main meaning is usually clear, but frequent agreement, article, preposition, and clause errors persist.
Check each sentence for subject–verb agreement and articles, and simplify clauses whose word order obscures the intended relationship.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People are now living longer than ever before and many old people are unable to look after themselves. Some people believe that it is the responsibility of families to look after the elderly, while others say governments should provide retirement homes for them where they can be looked after properly. Discuss.
Your response
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