Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Different people hold different pointspoint of view regarding the way the media treatthe way media treat famous personalities, specifically in terms of coverage of their private lives. I strongly believe that the media should refrain fromrefrain itself from breaching the privacy of notable personalities & I will provide suitable reasoning to support my stand. To further strengthen my position, light on the other view point will also be shed along with discussing its faults.
Firstly, it should be noted that privacy is equally needed by everyone. For me privacy is a right and cannotprivacy is our right & cannot be compromised in any way. In my opinion, the media nowadays fail to draw a linemedia nowadays fail to draw line between private & social life. They greatly confuse the twoIt greatly confuses the two and the result is obnoxious, unethical, sensationalized newsspiced up news. Taking the example of the latest news hype about a Pakistani actress wearing western clothes & smoking with an Indian star; the act itself is very personal but media of both countries didn’t fail to fully cover it and make a fuss out of it. It can be easily estimated that 40% of news coverageinflux is related to private matters of celebrities and this needs to change. They use it to increase their channel rankings & get maximum viewership.
On the other hand, there is a school of thought that believes that fame comes atfor a certain price & that is to sacrifice theiryour privacy. They are comfortable with the media breaching celebrities’ privacymedia breaching privacy of celebrities as they are of the opinion that a celebrity becomes a national asset and isnational asset & is the bearer of national culture. I again condemnI again, condemn this thought and believethought & believes that it is unethical to poke around into anyone’s private mattersprivate matters of anyone.
Concluding, I want to say that a line must be drawnthat line must be drawn between a celebrity’s private & social life & media should avoid invading their lives, as privacy is aour psychological need. It is not an acceptable trend to use such news to increase channel ratingsfor increased channel ratings.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response establishes a clear opinion and supports the case for privacy with a relevant, concrete example. Its main limitation is that the opposing view is presented briefly and dismissed rather than fully examined, while recurring article, agreement, and collocation errors reduce polish. Expand the rationale behind accepting media intrusion before rebutting it, and revise sentences for accurate grammar and more formal academic wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and the privacy argument is developed with an example, but the alternative view receives only limited explanation before being rejected.
Explain why some people regard loss of privacy as a legitimate cost of fame, then provide a reasoned rebuttal.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and progression are clear, though some linking is formulaic and the opposing paragraph is disproportionately brief.
Balance the body paragraphs more effectively and connect claims through their logic rather than relying on stock transitions.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably varied vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, but awkward collocations, repetition, and the ampersand reduce formality and precision.
Use conventional academic collocations and replace shorthand and repeated terms with precise formal wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a range of sentence forms, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, prepositions, and punctuation are noticeable.
Edit systematically for missing articles and subject–verb agreement, then correct punctuation around complex clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.