Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
During the early days of civilisation, clothing was nothing more than a basic need for every human beinga simple need of every human being. All they ever needed was a piece of clothing to cover and protect themselves from the harsh weather Mother Naturethe Mother Nature had to offer.
But times have changed. This basic human needThis simple need of man has transformed into a lucrative business, appealing toalluring people offrom all ages regardless of their gender or social status. The world of fashion has grown at an astonishing rate during the past couple of years. Companies such as Dolce & Gabbana, Levis, Tommy Hilfiger are some brands that have been dominating the market with fashion trends bringing in millions of dollars in revenue annually. Yet, there remains the question “Is this really worth it?”it?”.
People pay an absurd amount of money to buy clothes which do not suit them ornor do not make them feel comfortable. Yet, they purchase themthese for social status, prestige and bragging rights. In my opinion,In my honest opinion, I feel these fashion trends have contributed to social discriminationbrought in social discrimination among the young peoplecrowd. Young peopleKids with simple clothing feel inferior to those who look highly fashionable inwearing branded clothing.
I feel the old saying “Do not judge a book by its cover” no longer exists. People nowadays judge others by their clothes and fashion sense, rather than by who, and not for who they really are. Fashion is not something that should be followed blindly. It is just unnecessary and not a basic human needa definite need of man. I and most of the others believe that people should wear clothes which make them feel comfortable. This is something that I regard aswhich I regard is more important than fashion.
I believe it is time for us to stop following the fashion herd and be ourselves. We should wear simple yet comfortable clothes and live our liveslife with comfort at heart.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response takes a clear position against following fashion blindly and develops relevant reasons involving cost, comfort, judgement, and social pressure. Its main limitation is that some claims are generalised and several expressions or grammatical structures are awkward, which weakens precision despite clear progression. The highest priority is to replace broad assertions with a specific example and proofread complex sentences for natural collocation and accurate clause structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly agrees with the opinion and develops several relevant reasons, although some claims remain broad or unsupported.
Strengthen the argument with one specific example showing how fashion pressure affects people's choices or social relationships.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with generally effective linking despite some repetition and a lengthy contextual opening.
State the position earlier and streamline the background so that the main argument begins more directly.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of vocabulary for fashion and social behaviour, though several collocations and phrases are awkward.
Refine word combinations and replace imprecise phrases with natural academic expressions, particularly when describing people, status, and comfort.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally clear meaning, but recurring errors in coordination, articles, and relative clauses remain.
Proofread complex sentences for parallel structures, article use, and correctly formed relative clauses before finalising the essay.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.