The problem of obesity is becoming a serious issue all over the world. some people argue that the price of fatty food should be increased to reduce the growth of the problem. do you agree or disagree with this?
Sample Response
Undoubtedly, the world is facing a huge problem of obesityfatness which is a cause for concerna matter to be concerned with.the reason behind this is that people today are more inclined to include junk food in their dietsmodern people are more eager to take junk food in their diet. Howeverhowever, some people suggest that there should be an increase in the price of fast fooda hike in the cost of fast food to decrease its consumption.Ii agree with this viewpoint which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.upcoming paragraphs. The problem of obesity is becoming a serious issue all over the world
The obvious solution is increasing the price of foodsboosting the rate of the foods which are rich in calories. this can be achieved by imposing VATvat and taxes on such foodssuch kind of eatables. this would definitely help in reducing obesitycontrolling the problem because consumers would think at least oncethink least once before buying themit. However, people from wealthy backgroundshowever, persons belong to rich class would not be affected by doing this because they have no need to worry about moneynothing to be worried about the money. furthermore, this would result in inflation.inflation. The problem of obesity is becoming a serious issue all over the world
A more feasible approach would be making people aware of their healthpeople too aware of their health.this can be done by encouraging people to exercise dailysuggesting people take exercise daily. for this purpose, exercise awareness, campaigns can be organized by governmentsthe governments. likewise, the administration could placegive advertisements in the newspaper and also on televisionon television also regarding health issues. The problem of obesity is becoming a serious issue all over the world
In conclusion, although this solution may help reduce obesity,although this solution provides some assistance in reducing the problem of obesity yet organizing awareness seminars among people would be the best solution to overcome this problem. The problem of obesity is becoming a serious issue all over the world
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response has a recognisable structure and considers both the likely effect and limitations of raising food prices, but its stated agreement becomes uncertain when health awareness is presented as the preferable solution. Repeated copying of the task sentence, limited development, and frequent language errors weaken the argument; prioritise a consistent position supported by two clearly explained reasons, without reproducing the prompt.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the proposal and gives a view, but the final preference for awareness weakens the stated agreement and the ideas receive limited support.
State a precise degree of agreement and develop two reasons that consistently justify that position with relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic paragraphing and common linking words provide a visible progression, but repeated task sentences interrupt cohesion and some connections are mechanical.
Remove all copied prompt lines and use each paragraph to develop one logically connected point.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the main message, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations such as expressions about food prices and health awareness limit precision.
Build accurate topic phrases such as raise the price, calorie-dense foods, and public health campaigns, then use them consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple meanings are usually understandable, but frequent errors in capitalization, spacing, articles, agreement, and clause construction reduce control.
Proofread sentence boundaries and capitalization first, then correct article and verb-form errors in each sentence.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The problem of obesity is becoming a serious issue all over the world. some people argue that the price of fatty food should be increased to reduce the growth of the problem. do you agree or disagree with this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.