Climate change is one of the biggest environmental problems of the 21st century. Some people think that humans should stop using oil, gas and coal and switch to alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others claim that fossil fuels are essential for many industries, and not using them will result in economic recession. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples.
Sample Response
Some people argue that fossil fuels are essential for economic development even though they are highly polluting, while others believe that alternative sources of energy should completely replace oil, coal and natural gas. In my opinion, it is time to adopt cleaner energy sourcesadopt cleaner fuels in the interest of the whole world.
First of all, pollution caused by fossil fuels is not only destroying our environment but also causing serious harm to our healthgreat damage to our health. For example, air pollution causes life-threateningtaking diseases such as asthma and cancer. Under these circumstances, using clean energy is a necessity, rather than a choice. Moreover, phenomena such asphenomena like global warming and climate change are no longer distant concernsno longer in the distant future. The effects of these changes are visible even now. For example, studies show that the recent storms that ravaged Europe are a direct result of climate change.
Secondly, alternative sources of energy can be made economically viable in the long run. To begin with, the development of these energy sourcesthe exploitation of such energies will give rise to new industries. This, in turn, will result in more employment opportunities. Furthermore, new research can help makecan help in making these energy sources more efficientthese energies more efficient so that they can be used in traditional industries. For instance, in countries like Germany and the Netherlands, wind power is extensively used by households and the manufacturing industryhouseholds and manufacturing industry. Thus, overwith time, renewable fuels can contribute to the development of the economy.
To conclude, I think that the world should try to stop using fossil fuels, and we should start using alternative energy sources. This is because a healthy environment is of the utmost importance to our future, and cleaner fuels can be made economically viable in the long run.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is persuasive and well organised, with a clear position and relevant environmental and economic support. Its main limitation is that several examples and claims remain broad, while conspicuous sequencing phrases and awkward collocations reduce the naturalness of an otherwise fluent argument. The highest-priority improvement is to explain the evidence more precisely and use more idiomatic topic vocabulary with subtler transitions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The opinion is direct and fully supported through developed environmental and economic arguments with relevant examples.
Strengthen the response further by explaining exactly how the cited examples demonstrate that a broad transition would avoid economic recession.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear progression and each paragraph has a distinct purpose, though linking language is sometimes conspicuous.
Use fewer overt sequencing markers and let logical relationships emerge more naturally from sentence content.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of environmental and economic vocabulary, but several collocations are imprecise or unnatural.
Choose more idiomatic terms for fatal illnesses, renewable energy development, and industrial energy use.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are varied effectively, and the great majority of sentences are accurate and easy to follow.
Refine the few article and noun-form choices in phrases referring to households and manufacturing industries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Climate change is one of the biggest environmental problems of the 21st century. Some people think that humans should stop using oil, gas and coal and switch to alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others claim that fossil fuels are essential for many industries, and not using them will result in economic recession. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.