It has been said that the world is becoming a global village in which there are no boundaries to trade and communication. Do the benefits of globalisation outweigh the drawbacks?
Sample Response
Some people believe that boundaries between countries become less evident each year due to the rapid development of globalisation. Although this trend has some drawbacks, I would agree that the benefits of globalisation outweigh the drawbacks.
OnOne the one hand, I believe that globalisation has many positive impacts on our life. Firstly, with globalisation, businesses becomeby globalisation business become increasingly international. Multinational companies tend to do more business across the world. ThereforeSo, they can produce goods in one countryproducts in some place and sell them in anothertrade it in another. For example, McDonald's company opened many branches on every street across the world. Secondly, globalisation offersthe globalisation offers more job opportunities to people in developing countries and encourages investment in those countriesand encourage investment in it. In this way, such opportunities can reduceBy this, they fight poverty and economic hardshiplow socioeconomic status. Finally, free trade between countries could strengthenstrength the political relationsrelationships between countries and this may result in greater peace and lasting cooperationmore peace and long friendship between them. Because of the free trade policy, many developing countries are now exporting goods to developed countries and that in terms of revenue generating is a huge sector. For instance, many Asian third world countries are generating their lion'slion share of foreign currency reservesreservation by exporting readymade garments. This has been possible only because of the globalisation.
On the other hand, globalisation is not beneficial to everyone. One problem is that globalisation could lead to increasedincrease redundancy and job loss in developed countries. Companies can move to developing countries where labour is cheap. This is also associatedAlso, this associated with poor working conditionspoor working and low salaries in developing countries. Another drawback is that globalisation can lead to increasedincrease waste production and pollution. This affects human health adverselythe human health negatively.
In conclusion, I would argue that the benefits of globalisation outweigh the negative impact. Also, there should be global regulationsglobalisation regulation for the salaries and the working environment and the government should impose laws to protect the environment from pollution.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear judgement that globalisation's benefits outweigh its costs and supports it with relevant discussion of trade, employment, labour conditions, and pollution. Its strongest content lies in the export example, but frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken clarity and some causal claims remain broad; prioritise accurate sentence construction and a direct comparison explaining why the specified gains are greater than the identified harms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both benefits and drawbacks are relevantly addressed, the position is consistent, and examples support the discussion, although the final weighing remains more asserted than demonstrated.
Explain explicitly why employment and trade gains outweigh job displacement and pollution, using scale, duration, or the possibility of regulation as comparative criteria.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, but enumeration is mechanical and some short or incomplete sentences interrupt the flow.
Link each example directly to its paragraph claim and combine related ideas without relying heavily on Firstly, Secondly, Finally, and Also.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for trade, employment, and environmental effects, but frequent inaccurate word forms and collocations reduce control.
Use strengthen relationships, job losses, poor working conditions, foreign-currency earnings, and the largest share instead of the inaccurate existing forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of structures is attempted, but agreement, article, verb-pattern, and missing-auxiliary errors are frequent even though the main meaning remains clear.
Check subject–verb agreement and complete verb phrases, using businesses become, globalisation offers and encourages, and this is associated with.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It has been said that the world is becoming a global village in which there are no boundaries to trade and communication. Do the benefits of globalisation outweigh the drawbacks?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.