In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Sample Response
Traffic congestion in many cities around the world is severe. One possible solution to this problem is to impose heavy taxes on car drivers and use this money to make public transport better. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of such a measure.
One of the first benefits of such a measure is that the heavy taxes would discourage car owners from using their cars because it would become very expensive to drive. This would mean that they would begin to make use of public transport instead, thus reducing traffic problems and pollution as well. Another benefit would be that much more use would be made of public transport if it was improved. It is often the case that public transport in cities is very poor. For example, we often see old buses and trains that people would rather not use. High taxes would generate enough money to make the necessary changes.
Nevertheless, there are drawbacks to such a solution. First and foremost, this would be a heavy burden on the car drivers. At present, taxes are already high for a lot of people, and so further taxes would only mean less money at the end of the month for most people who may have no choice but to drive every day. In addition, this type of tax would likely be set at a fixed amount. This would mean that it would hit those with less money harder, whilst the rich could likely afford it. It is therefore not a fair tax.
To conclude, this solution is worth considering to improve the current situation, but there are advantages and disadvantages of introducing such a policy.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise noun Original: taxes on car drivers Suggested revision: taxes on private motorists Why it matters: Private motorists identifies the affected group more precisely than car drivers.
- 2. Use concise verb Original: make public transport better Suggested revision: improve public transport Why it matters: Improve expresses the same meaning more directly and formally.
- 3. Avoid vague ranking Original: One of the first benefits Suggested revision: One major benefit Why it matters: Major describes importance clearly without implying an unexplained sequence of benefits.
- 4. Use concise noun phrase Original: the heavy taxes Suggested revision: heavy taxation Why it matters: Heavy taxation is a concise formal term for this policy.
- 5. Remove wordiness Original: begin to make use of Suggested revision: use Why it matters: The single verb use conveys the same meaning more concisely.
- 6. Improve precision Original: traffic problems and pollution as well Suggested revision: traffic congestion and pollution Why it matters: Traffic congestion is more specific, and as well is redundant after and.
- 7. Use specific evaluation Original: public transport in cities is very poor Suggested revision: public transport services in cities are often inadequate Why it matters: Inadequate services is a more precise formal description than very poor transport.
- 8. Use concise financial term Original: further taxes would only mean less money at the end of the month Suggested revision: further taxes would leave people with less disposable income Why it matters: Disposable income expresses the financial effect more concisely and precisely.
- 9. Use formal phrasing Original: hit those with less money harder Suggested revision: affect lower-income people more severely Why it matters: The replacement keeps the meaning while using more precise academic language.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Another benefit would be that much more use would be made of public transport if it was improved. Suggested revision: Another benefit would be that people would use public transport much more if it were improved. Why it matters: The active structure is clearer, and were is appropriate for this hypothetical condition.
Suggested Rewrites
- taxes on car drivers taxes on private motorists
- make public transport better improve public transport
- One of the first benefits One major benefit
- the heavy taxes heavy taxation
- begin to make use of use
- traffic problems and pollution as well traffic congestion and pollution
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay fully covers both sides of the proposal, develops each point with clear consequences or examples, and progresses smoothly through a well-controlled structure. Its main limitation is that some wording and sentence patterns are slightly repetitive and the conclusion remains rather general; the best improvement would be to sharpen lexical precision and end with a more specific synthesis of the principal trade-off.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both advantages and disadvantages are directly addressed through relevant, well-developed explanations and examples.
Make the conclusion more specific by summarizing the central benefit and the principal fairness concern.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced within clear paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader effectively throughout.
Vary recurring reference phrases such as such a measure and this would mean to make cohesion less noticeable.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and precise enough to express causes, consequences, financial burden, and fairness with very few lapses.
Reduce repetition of general terms such as benefit, solution, and tax by selecting more exact context-specific alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used accurately, with most sentences remaining fully controlled and error-free.
Refine the few slightly awkward constructions while preserving the strong variety of subordinate and conditional structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.