Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of giving international aids to poor countries.
Sample Response
Over recent decades, many international institutionsinstitutes have been established all around the world with the objective of supporting low-income communitiesthe low-income communities. However, there are various points of viewsome various points of view about positive or negative results of the philosophy of such help. In this essay, this essay will assessit is going to be assessed the merits and demerits of supporting poor countries through international aidconducting poor countries internationally.
As the outstanding effect on low-incomelevel nations thanks to being supportedsported by other countries, is that the rate of death resulting from malnutrition decreasesdecrease. In addition, the health of the countries could improve because of supplied medicinessupporting drugs and medical facilities. For instance, it is heard on the news that in some African countries, many people do not have even anything to eat and/or any initial health facilities.
On the other hand, some individuals take issue with the idea that this helpthese helps contribute to some side effects. By the way of illustration, it could weaken the countries receiving aids and cause them not to attemptcauses those to not to attempt for improving their situation. Moreover, it might transform them into consumer communities which always need other countries support to stay alivesupports to being alive. Additionally, receiving external aids could lead those countries to the level that they pay no heed to their own natural resources.
In conclusion, even though we could not disregard the fact that some poor countries widely need to be supported, the advanced societies could adopt the decisions that help those countries to positively change their environment by utilising their own existing abilities and resources.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a recognizable discussion of both the benefits and drawbacks of international aid, using relevant ideas about health, malnutrition, dependency, and domestic resources. Its main weakness is that these points remain broadly developed and are frequently obscured by inaccurate wording and unstable sentence structures. Prioritise one specific, fully explained example on each side, expressed in shorter sentences with more precise aid-related vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages of international aid, with relevant points about health, malnutrition, dependency, and resource use. Development is limited and some claims remain broad.
Give one specific, well-explained advantage and one specific disadvantage, then explain how aid could be managed to avoid dependency.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognizable four-paragraph structure and basic contrast. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and unclear phrasing weakens the logical flow within paragraphs.
Use clearer topic sentences and avoid long opening clauses that delay the main idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic but often inaccurate or unnatural, with repeated aid-related phrases and several wrong collocations. Word choice sometimes obscures meaning.
Learn precise collocations such as foreign aid, recipient countries, medical supplies, donor nations, and economic dependency.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar errors are frequent, especially in sentence structure, articles, agreement, infinitives, and passive forms. Meaning is usually recoverable but several sentences require rereading.
Write shorter sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and verb patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of giving international aids to poor countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.