Some people believe that increasing business and cultural contacts between different countries have positive development, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
In this era of globalization, nations have become interdependent where trade and culture are not restricting within a country’s border, and this is considered a welcoming aspect by many. However, some individuals are worried that this trend is likely to dilute the nation’s identities. I will discussexplicate both sides of the argumentarguments in this essaydisquisition before presenting my certitude to the former perspective.
To begincommence with, the positive outcomes related to international trade and cross-cultural exchange are immense, and the most notable of these isthe most notable is the global surge in economic growth. What this means, with increased business contacts among various nations, more employment opportunities have emerged in various sectors such as technology, tourism, and education, which paved the way to strengthen the economies across the globe. A good example for illustration is that the advent of multinational organizations in India has provided livelihoodslivelihood to innumerable college graduates over the last few decades, a development that has proven to bewhich has proven to be a boon for the country’s growth. Hence, the benefits of global tradethe meritorious side of global trade cannot be underestimated.
Nevertheless, those who are against globalization have valid grounds for their oppositionexpress their support on valid grounds. The rise in global business and cultural interchange is often linked with the gradual fading of nationalnational’s identities. To put it simply, modern-day people are keen on understanding foreign cultures and adopting aspects of themadapting them to the point of altering their lifestyles. The best example to explain this is the massive influence of Westernwestern culture on Easterneastern nations. Traditional attires are on the verge of disappearance and are now merely a piece of clothing to wear only on certain occasions. For these reasons, the cross-cultural exchange is likely to havecross-cultural impact is likely to be linked with a few setbacksfew setbacks.
To sum up, I pen down stating that, although globalization has its own share of drawbacks, it is largely a beneficial phenomenon for the nations worldwideglobal nations, which benefit immenselyare benefited immensely on account of massive economic gains.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents both perspectives, supports them with relevant examples, and maintains a clear preference for the benefits of global contact. Its main weakness is that ambitious wording frequently becomes unnatural, while several grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to favour accurate, idiomatic language over ornate expressions and to proofread sentence structures for agreement, tense, and article errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's opinion is clear, with each side supported by a relevant, developed example.
Deepen the evaluation by explaining more explicitly why the economic benefits ultimately outweigh the cultural drawbacks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into well-focused paragraphs, and its progression is easy to follow throughout.
Reduce formulaic linking phrases so that transitions arise more naturally from the development of ideas.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and ambitious, but several forced or inaccurate collocations weaken naturalness and precision.
Replace ornate expressions such as 'presenting my certitude' with simpler, idiomatic wording that conveys the argument precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a good variety of complex forms, though recurring agreement, article, tense, and clause-structure errors remain noticeable.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense, and simplify clauses whose structure becomes awkward.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that increasing business and cultural contacts between different countries have positive development, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.