In some countries, using the internet in school is getting popular. Is it positive or negative development?
Sample Response
The internet has revolutionised the manner in which information is retrieved. I strongly believe that excessive dependency on the internet can have negative effects on pupilsnegative implications on the pupils. This will be shown by looking at how immense exposure to the web can affect students' social development and concentrationaffect the social development and the concentration level of the students.
For one, it is true that the content available onlinecontent available on the website is difficult to monitor. This is due to the fact that it is impossible to filter contentfilter out the matter based on the age of the person accessing it. For instance, there are some videos on YouTubethe YouTube which are inappropriate for people under 18the people under 18 yet can be easily viewed by them just by declaring the wrong agedeclaring wrong age on the warning messages displayed. Such videos can have a negative impact on young mindsthe young mind and thereby can afflict their social behaviour.
In addition, data is easily available on the net with a single keyword searchsingle search of the keyword. This benefit lures most of the students to prefer studying on the internet instead of the conventional books. A good illustration for this is the google search engine which is the most used tool for obtaining the data. Utilisation of such tools on athe daily basis motivates young people to minimise the usage of books and hence, they become used to getting information quickly. However, this hampers the searchability of the young people as well as lowers their attention level.
As seen from above, inordinate usage of the internet can have negative ramifications on the child's development. Thus, it is expected that the educational institutions will put efforts to minimise the internet use.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear negative position and supports it with two relevant, logically ordered concerns about inappropriate content and reduced concentration. Its main limitation is that the discussion remains narrow, while awkward collocations and recurring article, preposition, and agreement errors sometimes reduce naturalness. Acknowledge the internet’s educational benefits or possible school controls, then explain why the identified risks still outweigh them using more precise academic phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear negative position and develops two relevant reasons: unsuitable content and reduced concentration. Support is generally relevant, though the discussion is somewhat narrow and could consider school controls or educational benefits before rejecting them.
Add one sentence acknowledging possible educational benefits, then explain why the risks still outweigh them in schools.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Progression is easy to follow, but several linking phrases are mechanical and some referents are vague.
Use more precise topic sentences and make each paragraph close by linking the example directly back to the question.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes strong, but there are awkward collocations and over-formal choices that reduce naturalness.
Replace broad or unnatural phrases with precise academic wording, especially for children, online content, and attention span.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally controlled, with a mix of complex sentences, but article use, prepositions, and agreement errors appear regularly.
Review article use with plural/general nouns and avoid stacking long noun phrases without clear grammar.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, using the internet in school is getting popular. Is it positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.