Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
NowadaysIn recent days, there is an ongoing debate over whetherdebate whether the main consideration in choosing a jobthe main factor of working is salary or an enjoyable work environmenta salary or an enjoyable environment. Some assert that having high income will help people solving the economic problems, while the others believe that gaining happiness is not only because of having much money but the important one is working in a friendly place. I personally reckon that both considerations are importantboth views are essential things but I think enjoying one's workhaving enjoyable work is more importantthe most important one. Therefore, I will support my view with some considerations.
People who earn high incomesPeople obtaining high income will be able to addressencounter their financial problems because they can fulfil their daily needs. They believe that money can buy happiness because people will be able to buy some luxury things which amuse them. However, it can make them money oriented people. They spend much time only for working consequently they have no time with their family or even their own. Furthermore, they will be under considerable stress while completing their workfull of stress in accomplishing their workload.
On the other hand, people who greatly enjoy their workpeople who overly enjoy their time in working field will consider their jobs as something they love to doas something which they love to do so because of the supportive work environmentbecause it is supported by the environment. It can increase their motivation to complete their workloadmotivation in finishing the workloads. For exampleTaken the example, when an employee is encouraged by others around themthe others around them, they will try to give their best in their jobs. Moreover, it can increase their sense of belonging at workthe sense of belonging towards their works.
To sum up, having high salary is not only the primary factor to gain a bright future life, but it also needs affection in the workplace.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in its recognizable discussion of both salary and job enjoyment, supported by a clear paragraph structure and several relevant consequences. Its main limitation is that the ideas remain fairly general and the final sentence does not clearly restate the stated preference; the highest-priority improvement is to sustain an unambiguous opinion and develop each side with a precise example in more accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and an opinion is stated, but support is general and the conclusion expresses the position unclearly.
Restate the preference unmistakably in the conclusion and support each view with one specific, fully explained example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph progression is easy to follow, though some sentence links are abrupt and referencing is occasionally vague.
Use clearer logical links within body paragraphs and ensure pronouns such as it have an unmistakable referent.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range for the topic, but frequent collocation and word-choice problems make several expressions unnatural.
Use more precise combinations such as meet financial needs, job satisfaction, and commitment to their work.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, verb patterns, agreement, and sentence boundaries weaken control.
Prioritize accurate verb patterns and complete clause structures before adding further complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.