Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. What is your opinion about this? Discuss with appropriate examples.
Sample Response
Cities are changing in many waystransforming in various aspects, one of them is shopping patternspattern. It is often suggested by many that traditional businesses should be replaced by mega shopping centres. I believe that large shopping malls offer a better shopping experience to city residents and help the government collect taxes efficiently. Therefore, I believe that this is a welcomewelcoming trend. To begin with, large shopping complexes bring variousdifferent vendors under a single roof and offer a wide range of productsspectrum of products. As people in cities have less time to spend shoppingless time to spend on shopping, mega shopping malls save their valuable time. Furthermore, such markets have various entertainment facilities including cinema halls, food courtscourt, children's play zoneszone and similar amenities, whichetc. which improve people's shopping experience and let them enjoy their time. All those amenities inunder the same building cannot be offered by small businesses. In addition, collecting taxes from scattered small shops is often unmanageable as there is no defined authority for the business entities. However, it is easier when the stores are under the mall managementmarket authority in a single building. In some countries, like Australia, the government gives a tax rebate to small businesses to let them grow, which consequently can have dire outcomes in the future as financial lossoverturn cannot be justified with those cuts. Thus, small businesses do not appeal widely to peopledo not have a wide appeal to people and nor do they financially help local governmentnor do financially help local government. In conclusion, to meet modern shoppers' demands for convenienceto conform to modern shoppers' demand and facilities, mega malls are emerging. This should be wholeheartedly welcomed as they offerit offers a better shopping experience to people and ensures tax collection by the state.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, consistent opinion and develops two relevant benefits of large malls, with the shopping-convenience discussion particularly well supported. Its main limitation is that the taxation argument becomes speculative and includes an unclear claim about rebates, while several awkward expressions reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to use a more convincing, fully explained example for the second main idea and edit collocations carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and both main reasons are relevant, though the taxation argument is less convincingly supported.
Develop the second reason with a credible example that directly demonstrates how malls improve tax collection.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two body arguments, and a consistent conclusion.
Make the transition within the taxation paragraph more explicit so the rebate example clearly supports the central claim.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, but several imprecise collocations reduce naturalness.
Replace awkward phrases such as financial overturn and welcoming trend with precise, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally clear meaning, despite recurring agreement and sentence-construction errors.
Proofread subject-verb agreement, parallel structures, and noun phrases, especially in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. What is your opinion about this? Discuss with appropriate examples.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.