Nowadays, many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others think there are some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
In recent years, an increasing number of individuals are devoting ever-greater amounts of their dayproportions of their daily routines to commutingjourneying between home and their places of work or study. While I concede that these protracted commutes can compromise physical health and reduce valuable family timesupplant precious family time, I believe they also provideafford substantial opportunities for intellectual development and access to more affordable living environments.
Admittedly, extended daily commutes can diminish overall well-being. Firstly, prolonged sedentary travelsedentary travel exacerbates health risks. These include prolonged periods of sitting in vehicles or on public transport which contribute to musculoskeletal issues such as chronic back pain and stiff joints, while simultaneously undermining cardiovascular health and encouraging weight gain through reduced metabolic activity. Secondly, the additional hours spent on the road substantially curtail leisure and familyfamilial interactions, leading to weakened familyfilial bonds. As commuters return home fatigued and mentally drained, they have insufficient opportunity for meaningful engagement with loved ones, eroding the quality of personal relationships over time.
Nonetheless, it is undeniable that long commuteslengthy travel can yield certain benefits that partially offset these drawbacks. For many, the commute provides a regular learning opportunitybuilt-in learning window. For instance, by tuning into thought-provoking podcasts or immersive audiobooks, commuters can transform otherwise idle periods into avenues for skill acquisition and intellectual enrichment. Moreover, the ability to reside in suburban areas with substantially lower housing costs significantly enhances living standards. This is because the money saved on property costs or rentfinancial savings made on property or rent often compensate for the inconvenience of a longer journey, enabling individuals to enjoy more spacious accommodation and a higher quality of life.
In conclusion, although prolonged commutes undeniably impinge upon health and domestic life, I believe their capacity to facilitate continuous learning and secure affordable housing renders them a net positive development in the modern era.
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response’s greatest strength is its precise, confident development of both perspectives, supported by relevant causal explanation and a consistently clear position. Its main limitation is that some benefits are presented in polished but slightly compressed terms, so the case for judging them more important than the drawbacks could be weighed more explicitly; prioritize adding one sentence that directly compares the relative significance of the two sides.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are fully addressed through relevant, well-developed explanations.
Make the final judgement even more compelling by explicitly explaining why the benefits outweigh the combined health and family costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses smoothly through a purposeful introduction, two balanced body sections, and a concise conclusion.
Refine the transitions within body paragraphs so the movement between separate supporting points feels even less signposted.
Lexical Resource
A wide vocabulary conveys precise meanings effectively, although a few choices such as ‘supplant precious family time’ sound slightly overstated or unnatural.
Prefer natural, economical collocations over elevated wording when a simpler phrase would express the point more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence structures are handled with strong flexibility and consistently high accuracy throughout the response.
Continue polishing modifier placement and clause density so the longest sentences remain effortless to process.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others think there are some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.