Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Sample Response
In the modern world, long working hours are becoming more commonworking longer hours is becoming prevalent, especially among younger people who often lack free time for various reasons. While there may be some positive aspects to this situation, a number of drawbacks could be listed and both will be covered in this essay.
To start with, people who work longer hourspeople who work more may grow more self-assured as their social and professional abilities improve. For example, employees who work longer hours at a company grow into strong, independent individuals as a result of acquiring experience, which boosts their confidence and opens up more career options. Also, by spending less time on hobbiesnot wasting time on hobbies, people may feel that they are usingfeel more like they are using their time wisely. Their sense of confidence usually increases as a result.
However, there are several drawbacks to extended workingwork hours. First of all, fatigue from lengthened workdays is likely to occur. Their mental health is adversely affectedbadly impacted by this fatiguecircumstance. FurthermoreFurther, after working for extended periods of time, people become tired, which can lead to numerous mistakes in their work. For instance, if doctors worked long shifts regularlyall the time, they would become so tired that they would misdiagnose illnesses. It was therefore stated that engaging in leisure activities is essential for mental relaxation, which lowers errormistake rates.
All in all, although working long hours may have certain benefits, the drawbacks of not being able to relax clearly exceed these benefits. It follows that everyone needs to manage their workload adequately. (243 words)
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear comparative position and develops both sides with relevant explanations, particularly the example of fatigue causing professional mistakes. Its main limitation is that the advantages are repetitive and sometimes asserted too broadly, while the response also falls marginally below the expected length. The priority is to develop one convincing advantage in greater depth and make the comparison with the disadvantages more explicit throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed directly with a clear conclusion and relevant development of advantages and disadvantages.
Develop the benefits more convincingly and explicitly compare their significance with the harms before the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clear paragraphs, with generally effective linking and referencing.
Reduce repetitive transitions and strengthen the logical connection between each claim and its supporting explanation.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently varied vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, though several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Choose more natural expressions for ideas such as longer workdays, mental recovery, and the value of leisure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentence forms is used with generally strong control and few errors that impede meaning.
Refine passive constructions and pronoun references so that agency and relationships between ideas remain consistently clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.