Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
There are those who claim that music is solely for entertainment purposes while others feel it has broaderlarger societal implications. In my opinion, ostensibly most people listen to music for fun, however it still opens up pathways for fringe elements of society to become mainstream.
Those whothat argue for the narrower view of music can easily highlight the ways in which music is consumed today. People listen to music at parties, nightclubs, and weddings to dance and enjoy themselves. They listen to music using streaming serviceslisten using streaming services like YouTube, Apple Music and Spotify to relax throughout anthe average day. The end result of all that listening is not that individuals think deeply about the lyrics or in any way question their actions, attitudes, or prejudices. Compared with narrative forms of entertainmentMoreso than narrative forms of entertainment like movies and books, music is almost purely for entertainment and rarely rises above the level of subconscious enjoyment.
While there is some truth to the argument above, music shinesturns a positive spotlight on previously underrepresented demographic groups. People do not simply listen to music; they are also likelyapt to follow and admire their favourite artists. One of the best examples of this is the increased visibility of LGBT peoplechampioning of LGBT lifestyles. Elton John was an early example of an artist whose sexuality was fluid at a time when many viewed this behaviour as deviant. He did not come out as gay until much later but his influence on aspiring artists and the average listener was immense. Today, there are many artists who are openly gay and this not only reduces bigotry in general by undermining its logic but also inspires others to come out. A person listening to and following artists in any genre today accepts these once alternative lifestyles as the norm.
In conclusion, music has an important role to play in society by giving voice to previously silent groups. In the same way that music broke down racial barriers in the 20th century, the 21st century will be the century of inclusion.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear position and develops both views through relevant, specific examples, with the discussion of music's social influence particularly well sustained. Its main limitation is occasional overstatement and slightly awkward wording, which reduces precision despite consistently clear meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify broad claims about listeners and social acceptance while choosing more natural expressions for the argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are clearly addressed with relevant, well-developed support.
Qualify sweeping claims about how all listeners respond to music so the argument remains fully persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear four-paragraph structure with effective referencing and transitions.
Make the relationship between the entertainment discussion and the final social-impact position slightly more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, despite a few awkward choices such as 'ostensibly' and 'Moreso'.
Replace occasional strained or imprecise expressions with natural academic phrasing and correct 'Moreso' to 'More so'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately, with errors rare and meaning consistently clear.
Refine punctuation around contrasting clauses, especially sentences using 'however', to avoid loosely joined structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.