Online shopping is becoming more common these days. What effect could this have on the environment and the types of jobs required?
Sample Response
Nowadays, most peopledenizens prefer to purchaseare fascinated to purchase products online for convenienceowing to convenience. Although shopping online is drastically increasing over a period of time than past. As a matter of fact, buying products online can have an adverse impact on the surroundings as well as the variety of jobs are essential to curtailing this effect. In this essay, I intend to delve into the effects caused byeffects advent by dint of online shopping in the forthcoming paragraphs, along with some illustrations.
To commence with, the main drawbackmost prominent deficit of buying products online is its major impact on physical shopsa major impact on the physical shops. To demonstrate this, most peoplethe most populace is willing to select the products by comparing all available productsby comparison with all available products. To cite a pertinent illustration, if consumersthe dwellers want to purchase one particular sort of product, then they choose desiredindispensable items at a low costas well as with low cost. Nevertheless, people in lower-income groupsthe lower strata people are purchasing the products more thanmore when compared to higher strata people during this pandemic time as per the survey.
On the other hand, along with the aforementioned reasons, the impact is harmfulthe negative impact is adverse on the environment. Moreover, the packaged-related stuff is causing serious harmmajor destruction to the environment. By virtue of, the wastage is thrown outside even though they are recyclable and no one cares about it. For instance, waste is increasing rapidlygarbage is climbing to the peak due to unwanted boxes used by online servicesthe unwanted boxes packaged by the services online.
To conclude, thus, after elucidating all the concerned factors, it is ostensible that online shopping should be limitedhas to be at a certain limit. However, the limit exceeds the predominant effect on the environment.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response’s strongest feature is its recognisable structure and its identification of packaging waste as an environmental effect of online shopping. The major limitation is that it does not answer the required question about the types of jobs needed, while much of the first body paragraph is unclear or only loosely relevant. The highest priority is to cover both task parts directly with developed, concrete examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The environmental aspect receives some relevant treatment, but the required discussion of job types is effectively omitted and several ideas are underdeveloped.
Plan one developed paragraph on environmental effects and another naming and explaining relevant jobs in logistics, warehousing, delivery, and technology.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a visible framework, but progression is weakened by unclear relationships, loosely relevant material, and inaccurately used linking phrases.
Give each paragraph one explicit task-related purpose and connect every example directly to its controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations make several statements unnatural or unclear.
Choose familiar, precise expressions and verify collocations instead of relying on formal-sounding substitutes such as denizens, strata, and ostensible.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent fragments and errors in clause structure, articles, agreement, and comparison reduce clarity.
Write complete subject-verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses only when their grammatical relationship is clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Online shopping is becoming more common these days. What effect could this have on the environment and the types of jobs required?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.