Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school.
Sample Response
I docan not completely agree with the statement that classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. In this essay, I will first focus on the reasons why I agree with this statement and then list a few points why from my opinion in some cases is not true. On the one handFrom the one side, classmates have a significant influence on a child's behaviourinfluence on child's behaviour and his or her success in school. First of all, children spend a great deal of time at schoolchildren spend much time at school. Classmates have many things in common such as age, interests, homework and classeshomework and classes after all. So, they discuss their impressions about a new teacher, solve problems together, dolearn their homework, gain new knowledge and experience and even make their own discoveries. Sharing all of these experiencesSharing all these makes them closer. Some of them become friends and they spend time together after schoolspend after-school time together. In addition, friends tend to copy each other's habits and manners. For instance, my little sister became friends with athe girl who did not have good grades at school at that time. It does not mean she could not have better grades; she just had many friends who did not care about their grades. So, when they started to spend their time together and share their interests, the girl's grades improvedgirl's grades improved. They did their homework together, shared their dreams and exciting moments. From this point, I must agree that classmates can change a child’s attitudechange child’s attitude towards school. On the other handFrom the other side, parents have a great influence on children's successchildren' success in school too. For example, if parents show an interest in their child's progress and talk to him or her about the importance of learning, I thinklearning I think their child will listen to them and do his or her best. Personally, I believe that the relationship between parents and a child playsrelationships between parents and a child play an essential role in a child's successin child's success in school. If these relationships are close and wholehearted, I am sureclose and wholehearted I am sure that parents should not be afraid of negative outside influencesbad influence from the outside.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear, nuanced position and uses a detailed personal example to show how classmates can shape attitudes to school. Its main limitation is that the comparison with parental influence is less fully developed, while the single-block structure and recurring grammatical slips weaken polish. The highest priority is to organize the two sides into distinct paragraphs and deepen the explanation of why parental influence may outweigh peer influence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly considers both classmates and parents, maintains a clear qualified position, and supports the peer-influence argument with a relevant example.
Develop the parental side with the same depth and explicitly compare why its influence may be more decisive for school success.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through the two influences, although the single-block presentation and formulaic transitions make the organization less effective.
Divide the response into clear introduction, peer-influence, parent-influence, and conclusion paragraphs, using transitions only where relationships need marking.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing relationships and educational influence, but repetition and several unnatural expressions limit precision.
Replace repeated general terms with precise alternatives and revise collocations such as do homework, influence a child's attitude, and outside influence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the ideas clearly, though errors with articles, possessives, prepositions, and punctuation recur.
Proofread noun phrases and complex clauses, especially possessive forms, missing articles, and commas around dependent clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.