In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Sample Response
In current years, traffic problems day by day is getting worse. Following this, it causes many different problems such as air pollution and accidents. And in order to tackle these problems, governments would tax secluded car proprietors heavily and spent the money to ameliorate public transportation. Nevertheless, it has both sides: pros and cons. The way I see it is that imposing high taxes to the private car owners is profitable for everyone.
Looking first at the beneficial side of paying taxes to governments to improve the public transportation is that: increasing taxes which car owners must pay would have positive consequences for everyone. Fewer people will buy cars and this result leads to drop the number of private cars on the roads. Also, it can help dwindling of accidents on the road. Many young people who drive a car between the ages of 16 and 20 could use a public transport instead of using their own transport. However, fewer cars could lead to less noise and air pollution. Places would become cleaner, pure and safer. Also, people can walk and do cycling instead of driving cars and it will be helpful for their health and it would be cheaper as well. However, many people will oppose and might complain if such a decision is introduced by the government.
There are many people who prefer a car because it is faster, more reliable and convenient. Also, there are people who escape the overcrowded places due to hygienic reasons. Using public transport can lead to the extending of infections, viruses and bacteria. That is why people who use their private cars only would be at a disadvantage because they will be obligated to pay higher taxes but unable to benefit from the improvements of the public transport. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the concept of increasing the taxes for car owners. The advantages outweigh the disadvantages of such a solution. In my opinion, fumes are extremely harmful to small children, pregnant women and old people. The government should protect vulnerable members of society and increase safety in urban areas by decreasing the number of cars.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Time phrase Original: current Suggested revision: recent Why it matters: Use the standard time expression for a trend up to the present.
- 2. Agreement error Original: traffic problems day by day is getting worse Suggested revision: traffic problems are getting worse day by day Why it matters: The plural subject problems needs are, and the time phrase fits better at the end.
- 3. Weak reference Original: Following this Suggested revision: As a result Why it matters: This linker more clearly shows cause and effect.
- 4. Wrong collocation Original: secluded car proprietors Suggested revision: private car owners Why it matters: Secluded means isolated, and proprietors is too formal for this context.
- 5. Verb form Original: spent Suggested revision: spend Why it matters: After would, use the base verb form.
- 6. Unnatural verb Original: ameliorate Suggested revision: improve Why it matters: Improve is the natural collocation here.
- 7. Meaning mismatch Original: profitable Suggested revision: beneficial Why it matters: Profitable suggests making money, while the idea is social benefit.
- 8. Verb pattern Original: leads to drop the number Suggested revision: leads to a drop in the number Why it matters: Lead to needs a noun phrase or gerund, not the bare verb drop.
- 9. Awkward structure Original: help dwindling of accidents Suggested revision: help reduce the number of accidents Why it matters: This is a clearer verb phrase for the intended meaning.
- 10. Uncountable noun Original: a public transport Suggested revision: public transport Why it matters: Public transport is usually uncountable in this use.
- 11. False contrast Original: However, fewer cars Suggested revision: In addition, fewer cars Why it matters: This sentence adds another advantage rather than contrasting with the previous idea.
- 12. Word choice Original: escape the overcrowded places Suggested revision: avoid overcrowded places Why it matters: Avoid is the natural verb when explaining why people do not use crowded transport.
Suggested Rewrites
- current recent
- traffic problems day by day is getting worse traffic problems are getting worse day by day
- Following this As a result
- secluded car proprietors private car owners
- spent spend
- ameliorate improve
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear position and supports the case for taxing private cars with several relevant benefits, including cleaner air, fewer accidents, and healthier travel choices. Its main limitation is that the disadvantage discussion is comparatively narrow and the conclusion shifts toward simple agreement; develop one disadvantage fully and keep the final judgement focused on weighing both sides of the proposed solution.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and gives a clear view, but the disadvantage side is narrower and the conclusion shifts into agreement rather than weighing the solution consistently.
Develop one clear disadvantage in more depth and keep the final judgement tied to whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a recognizable introduction, body, and conclusion, but linking is often mechanical and some ideas are grouped unevenly within long paragraphs.
Use clearer topic sentences and reserve contrast linkers such as however for real contrast.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied enough for the topic, but several word choices are unnatural or inaccurate, which weakens precision.
Prefer natural collocations such as private car owners, improve public transport, and reduce accidents over forced synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually clear, but frequent problems with agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence control reduce accuracy.
Edit each sentence for subject-verb agreement, article use, and verb form before adding more complex vocabulary.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.