In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Sample Response
These days congested traffics in developing nations has made lots of environmental issues such as air and sound pollution and governments have taken different strategies to tackle this problem. Undeniably increasing tax on private car owners and investing more in public transport systems are the most considerable ways which government have performed in most of the countries to control the traffic but it is essential to investigate both of negative and positive aspects of mentioned policies and applying other solutions to reduce the number of traffic on our blue planet.
However, people will not use their own cars in most of the time when they must pay more taxes or insurance money and it can influence the number of traffic in each residential area, in some occasions, it directly affects the economy of a country. In other words, if the tax on the private car would be increased, prices of other goods would be raised and it makes people under pressure. On the other hand, policies should allow people to have a better life while adding costs for using a private car stand against this human right.
Also, some governments have tried to improve transport system by developing under ways and increasing the numbers of buses and trains which are appreciated and has had a deep effect on traffic issues, especially in mega cities. While this strategy is a very good solution but perhaps allocating some part of transport system budget to develop freeways would be a fundamental solution as people can use their own cars without making traffics.
I think, therefore, not only should governments limit societies to use private cars as the best solution for traffic problem, but they should try to make a situation which allows anyone to use his own car without worries about spending more money as the tax. Perhaps other steps would be taken beside boosting public transportation or getting tax on using own cars.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong noun form Original: congested traffics Suggested revision: traffic congestion Why it matters: Traffic is normally uncountable, and traffic congestion is the natural phrase.
- 2. Verb choice Original: has made lots of environmental issues Suggested revision: has caused many environmental problems Why it matters: Cause problems is more natural than make issues in this context.
- 3. Natural collocation Original: air and sound pollution Suggested revision: air and noise pollution Why it matters: Noise pollution is the standard term.
- 4. Agreement and verb Original: which government have performed Suggested revision: which governments have used Why it matters: Governments is plural and policies are used or implemented, not performed.
- 5. Word order Original: both of negative and positive aspects Suggested revision: both the negative and positive aspects Why it matters: The determiner and adjective order need correction.
- 6. Uncountable noun Original: the number of traffic Suggested revision: the amount of traffic Why it matters: Use amount with uncountable traffic.
- 7. Preposition error Original: in most of the time Suggested revision: most of the time Why it matters: No preposition is needed before most of the time.
- 8. Comma splice Original: in each residential area, in some occasions Suggested revision: in each residential area. On some occasions Why it matters: These are separate ideas and should not be joined only with a comma.
- 9. Conditional form Original: if the tax on the private car would be increased Suggested revision: if the tax on private cars were increased Why it matters: Use were increased in this hypothetical condition.
- 10. Wrong collocation Original: makes people under pressure Suggested revision: puts people under pressure Why it matters: Put someone under pressure is the correct collocation.
- 11. Verb agreement Original: stand against this human right Suggested revision: stands against this human right Why it matters: Adding costs is singular, so the verb should be stands, though the idea also needs support.
- 12. Wrong term Original: developing under ways Suggested revision: developing underground railways Why it matters: Underways is not the correct term for public transport systems.
Suggested Rewrites
- congested traffics traffic congestion
- has made lots of environmental issues has caused many environmental problems
- air and sound pollution air and noise pollution
- which government have performed which governments have used
- both of negative and positive aspects both the negative and positive aspects
- the number of traffic the amount of traffic
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay discusses both possible benefits and drawbacks of heavy taxation and public transport investment, but the answer is partly indirect because it shifts toward freeways and a general right to drive.
Make the advantages and disadvantages explicit: explain one benefit of reduced car use and one drawback of unfair cost, then keep the conclusion focused on this policy.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is paragraphing and a basic progression, but several long sentences contain multiple ideas, and the order of advantages and disadvantages is not always signposted clearly.
Use one paragraph for disadvantages, one for advantages, and one short conclusion that directly weighs the solution.
Lexical Resource
Topic vocabulary is adequate, but inaccurate collocations such as congested traffics, number of traffic, and under ways reduce precision.
Use natural transport-policy phrases such as traffic congestion, private motorists, public transport systems, metro lines, road users, and congestion charges.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually understandable, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and clause control interrupt fluency.
Break long sentences into shorter ones and check each clause for subject-verb agreement and correct plural forms.