In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Sample Response
Following industrialisationFollowing the industrialisation, the car has become one of the most commonly owned items. With cars, we can travel miles within minutes, and this has made our lives much easier.With cars we can travel miles within minutes, it made our life so much easier. However, every issue has two sidesall the things have two sides, cars bring us convenience but they also create problemsit also creates problems for us. Almost every major city on earth is suffering from heavy trafficthe heavy amount of traffics on roads which often cause congestion. It wastes people's timeIt waste the time of people, cause pollution due to the harmful gases emitted by carsharmful gas eliminated by cars, also makes people feel frustrated. If the government decides to impose a heavy tax on private car owners, some people will probably get rid of the unnecessaryexcessive cars. When people make the decision to purchase a car, they will also take the cost of heavy taxes into considerationconsiderations, and may, in the end, postpone their plan of having a car. The policy can restrict the growing demand for cars. However, since the tax applies to all private cars,However, since the tax applies to all private cars. Thus, the tax will increase the financial burden for car owners. The policy does not distinguishThere are no discriminations between the cars in major cities and the cars in the rural and remote areas. This means it may not restrict the volume of trafficthe amount of car flow in the central business district in the city, where the traffic problem is more severe. Some of the people who are not in a good financial position, but must have a car to travel to work will suffer. If they cannot afford the tax, they will dispose of their carsdispose their cars and loseloose their jobs. In summary, I reckon the government should take all these factors into consideration before starting to taxbefore start taxing private car owners. The government should develop a better solutioncome out with a better solution that pinpoints the traffic congestionjam, but not private cars in generalgenerally.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents relevant advantages and disadvantages of taxing private cars, with a generally clear discussion of reduced demand and the burden on drivers. Its main limitation is that it barely explains the proposed use of tax revenue to improve public transport, and the single-paragraph structure plus frequent language errors weaken progression. Prioritize adding a developed public-transport benefit paragraph, then separate the essay into clear sections and proofread sentence boundaries and agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response covers both advantages and disadvantages of heavy taxes on private car owners, but it does not develop how the tax revenue would improve public transportation, which is a central part of the question.
Add one body paragraph explaining the public-transport benefit, such as funding buses, trains, lower fares, or better service frequency.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas generally move from background to benefits and drawbacks, but the whole essay is one paragraph and several sentence links are faulty or mechanical.
Use four clear paragraphs: introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, with topic sentences for each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, with terms such as congestion, financial burden, and central business district, but there are several unnatural collocations and word-form errors.
Replace awkward phrases with natural traffic-policy language, such as traffic volume, exhaust emissions, car ownership, and targeted congestion charges.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually clear, but there are frequent agreement, plural, article, and sentence-boundary errors, especially in longer clauses.
Check each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, then correct singular/plural agreement and avoid fragments after linking words.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.