In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Sample Response
It is believed that the best way to solve traffic issues is by imposing a high taxgiving high rate tax for private motor vehicle owners, and the fund could be allocated for improving public transportation systems and facilities. The solution has its own positive and negative sides and the following essay will discuss them in detaildetails.
For a number of reasons, charging personal car owners Deletewith high tax rate with high tax rate and allocating the fundsallocate the fund for improving and developing public transportation brings a lot of benefits for the society. It is undeniable that with the high tax rate, the number of car owners will gradually decrease and traffic congestion problem would slowly decline. As a result, people could commute faster and work more effectively and efficientlycommute faster work more effective and efficient and air pollution would be reduced.
Besides that, the collected tax fund could be used to improve and manage public transportation, as a lot of people would change their mode of transportation from personal cars into public transportation. For example, the government could replace all the old subway trains and buses with the new ones which consume fuel efficiently and are more comfortableconsume fuel efficiently and more comfortable for passengers. Consequently, the budget for public transportation fuel could be reduced and public transportation user would feel comfort in using the facilities.
On the other hand, taxing private car owners heavily hashave some negative sides for the individual and the society. Firstly, many people live in areas which are not covered by public transportation, such as those who lived in rural areas or countryside. Should there be any public buses or trains that pass through that areas, the schedule might be only once or twice in a day. These people need private cars and if the tax for motorised vehicles is raised significantly then it would be a big burden and problem for them. Secondly, it is a fact that automotive industries have created many jobsabsorbed so many employments. As the demand for motor vehicle decreases due to the high tax rate, many automobile companies would reduce their employment number. As a consequence, the country's unemployment rate would be high.
In conclusion, the solution of charging private car owner with high vehicle tax rate to reduce traffic problems has its own benefits and drawbacks. The advantages of the solution are that people could travel faster and air pollution would be reduced. However, the disadvantages of it are that it would become a big problem for those who lived in remote areas since public transports are rarely reaching them and also cause unemployment issue.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of heavier taxation and supports them with relevant consequences for congestion, public transport, rural residents, and employment. Its main limitation is that some points are repetitive or imprecisely expressed, and the conclusion mainly restates earlier content; the highest-priority improvement is to refine collocations and sentence accuracy while ending with a clear judgement about where the policy would be workable.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages and gives relevant reasons. Development is clear, though some points need more precise explanation and the conclusion repeats rather than evaluates.
Add a final judgement about whether the policy is workable only in areas with reliable public transport.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and the response progresses from advantages to disadvantages. Some cohesion is mechanical and there is repetition.
Use clearer referencing and avoid repeating high tax rate and public transportation in every sentence.
Lexical Resource
Topic vocabulary is adequate, but inaccurate collocations and word forms appear frequently.
Learn accurate phrases: impose a higher tax, allocate revenue, reduce congestion, public transport users, and automotive employment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear, but errors with agreement, articles, and sentence structure are common.
Check every complex sentence for a complete subject-verb structure and correct singular/plural forms.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.