In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Sample Response
Nowadays, there are so many worldwide recognised car manufacturers in the world and numbers of produced cars have significantly increased which reflected on traffic problem, and it seems that this will never stop. Therefore, some people think this is kind of alarming and needs an urgent resolution of this situation. In my essay, I would like to talk about preventive works what can eliminate the critical condition on the roads and how best we may improve it. I would like to indicate that there is almost everywhere suffers from the mentioned subject and big countries should implement the solution of how it could be recovered from the situation. So, it has to be plan properly in terms of standardisation rules in Asia for example to letting private car owners to pay taxes according to the range of cars on the annual basis. Another one possibly will help if they stop old cars to be used on the roads. In order to make this, we must pay fixed amount of sum as per year of every car, this will be a good turnaround for metal manufacturing. The prices are requiring being expensive no matter whichever range or type of this car is. Then the government can spend all collected and finance to the road management and increase the quality public transportation. The disadvantage, in this case, is when you try to reduce the number of old cars, possible this will affect a majority of people who will not able to afford to buy a new car. Especially, big countries such as China, Russia, US, Brazil, Canada and Australia will struggle without transportation activities for the long distances. Overall, I believe that there might be the implementation of the specially designed small cars which will be cheap, comfortable and can be used for such a purpose.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Unnatural phrase Original: worldwide recognised car manufacturers Suggested revision: international car manufacturers Why it matters: This is a more natural collocation for companies that sell cars globally.
- 2. Plural and noun form Original: numbers of produced cars have significantly increased Suggested revision: the number of cars produced has significantly increased Why it matters: Use the singular expression the number of and a clearer passive structure.
- 3. Verb tense and article Original: which reflected on traffic problem Suggested revision: which has contributed to traffic problems Why it matters: The phrase needs a correct verb and plural noun to show cause clearly.
- 4. Word choice Original: an urgent resolution of this situation Suggested revision: an urgent solution to this problem Why it matters: Solution to a problem is the natural expression here.
- 5. Wrong phrase Original: preventive works what can eliminate Suggested revision: measures that can reduce Why it matters: Measures is the correct word for government actions, and reduce is more realistic than eliminate.
- 6. Faulty clause Original: there is almost everywhere suffers Suggested revision: almost every place suffers Why it matters: The original mixes two sentence patterns and becomes ungrammatical.
- 7. Passive form Original: has to be plan properly Suggested revision: has to be planned properly Why it matters: After be, use the past participle planned.
- 8. Infinitive form Original: to letting private car owners Suggested revision: to make private car owners Why it matters: Use to plus the base verb after this structure.
- 9. Imprecise wording Original: according to the range of cars Suggested revision: according to the value or emissions of their cars Why it matters: Range of cars does not explain how the tax would be calculated.
- 10. Unclear link Original: Another one possibly will help Suggested revision: Another possible measure would be Why it matters: This makes the connection between policy ideas clearer.
- 11. Missing article Original: pay fixed amount of sum Suggested revision: pay a fixed amount Why it matters: Amount already means a sum, so the extra word is unnecessary.
- 12. Unclear meaning Original: good turnaround for metal manufacturing Suggested revision: a benefit for the car-recycling industry Why it matters: The original phrase does not clearly connect to old cars or transport policy.
Suggested Rewrites
- worldwide recognised car manufacturers international car manufacturers
- numbers of produced cars have significantly increased the number of cars produced has significantly increased
- which reflected on traffic problem which has contributed to traffic problems
- an urgent resolution of this situation an urgent solution to this problem
- preventive works what can eliminate measures that can reduce
- there is almost everywhere suffers almost every place suffers
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses traffic and taxation, but the advantages and disadvantages are not clearly balanced and several ideas move away from the exact proposal.
State one clear advantage and one clear disadvantage of heavy car taxation, then explain each with a direct transport example.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is an introduction, body discussion, and conclusion, but progression is weak because the essay is mostly one long paragraph with unclear linking.
Use separate paragraphs for background, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, with topic sentences that match the question.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is relevant to cars, taxes, and transport, but many word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural.
Replace vague phrases with precise policy language such as congestion, private motorists, annual tax, public transport investment, and affordability.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence structure, articles, verb forms, and clauses often make meaning difficult to follow.
Write shorter sentences and check subject-verb agreement, passive forms, and article use before adding complex clauses.