In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Sample Response
It is certainly true that traffic in most of the major cities in every country is really a problem due to more and more exclusive cars are used. So, some of the states schemed that in order to lessen private cars on the roads, car owners should pay more taxes. Countries administration thinks that this not only solves the problem but also, it will improve the public transportation. However, as every solution that will be imposing, benefits and drawbacks will always be there as I will now be discussed. On one hand, tax imposition to owners of private cars will benefit the public conveniently and safely. As more money was collected, more funds for the improvement of transportation. For instance, in Singapore, their government strictly implemented a blue badge card as a form of tax for private vehicles to pass to their major cities such as Changi, Sentosa and China Town. As a result, more government trains and inter-city buses were built and utilise by most of the Singaporeans. Also, a city-wide network has been made to collect information and charge drivers if they have any violations. This means safety for the people of the lion country. On the other hand, though such solution is successful to the people of Singapore, it is a failure to some countries that leads to more hostility of the people. For example, when the local government of Cambridge, England, considering Singaporean techniques, it faced vocal and ultimately successful opposition. People of England showed their anger to their government through their social networking sites and even rallied on the Cambridgeshire road to express their disagreement. In conclusion, I think that imposition of the tax to car owners is not the only solution to problems on the road. There are other considerations as well, perhaps building a sky railways and subways. I believe these two are better than just collecting fines to one sector of the public.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong word Original: exclusive cars Suggested revision: private cars Why it matters: The task is about private cars, not exclusive cars.
- 2. Wrong verb Original: some of the states schemed Suggested revision: some governments have proposed Why it matters: "Schemed" has a negative or secret meaning.
- 3. Noun form Original: Countries administration Suggested revision: Government administrations Why it matters: The noun phrase needs correct form and number.
- 4. Remove comma Original: but also, it will improve Suggested revision: but also it will improve Why it matters: Do not place a comma after "also" here.
- 5. Incorrect clause Original: as every solution that will be imposing Suggested revision: as with every solution that is imposed Why it matters: This fixes the clause and verb form.
- 6. Verb form Original: as I will now be discussed Suggested revision: as I will now discuss Why it matters: Use active voice with "I will discuss".
- 7. Tense choice Original: As more money was collected Suggested revision: As more money is collected Why it matters: Use present tense for a general policy argument.
- 8. Sentence fragment Original: more funds for the improvement Suggested revision: there will be more funds for improving Why it matters: Add a main clause.
- 9. Parallel verb form Original: were built and utilise Suggested revision: were built and used Why it matters: Keep both verbs in the past participle form.
- 10. Unclear phrase Original: lion country Suggested revision: country Why it matters: This nickname is unnecessary and may confuse readers.
- 11. Article missing Original: such solution Suggested revision: such a solution Why it matters: Use an article before singular countable nouns.
- 12. Agreement error Original: that leads to more hostility Suggested revision: that lead to more hostility Why it matters: The antecedent is plural "countries".
Suggested Rewrites
- exclusive cars private cars
- some of the states schemed some governments have proposed
- Countries administration Government administrations
- but also, it will improve but also it will improve
- as every solution that will be imposing as with every solution that is imposed
- as I will now be discussed as I will now discuss
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses advantages and disadvantages and includes examples, but the final answer shifts toward alternative solutions rather than evaluating the proposed tax clearly.
Make the advantages and disadvantages explicit, then state whether the tax is worth using overall.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a basic sequence, but it is presented as one block and several sentences are fragments or loosely connected.
Use separate paragraphs with clear topic sentences for advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic but often inaccurate or unnatural, such as "exclusive cars", "schemed", and "lion country".
Use precise transport-policy vocabulary and avoid unusual phrases that distract from meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors in clauses, verb forms, and sentence structure sometimes reduce clarity.
Rewrite long sentences into simpler complete sentences and check subject-verb agreement.