Should the government impose a heavy tax on private car owners to improve the public transportation system to reduce the traffic problem in many cities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Sample Response
With the growing population all over the world, many cities are facing too much traffic problems including pollution and congestion. One of the solutions to this problem is the setting of a new tax to car owners. In return, this money could be used to improve public transports and roads. This essay will discuss advantages and disadvantages of this solution.
First of all, the fact to tax private car owners heavily might deter plenty of drivers and car owners using their own vehicles and make them use more public transports in their city. The setting of this new tax could lead to a decrease of congestion and pollution issues.
Furthermore, the harvested money from this new law will be used to remove less efficient and old transports and improve the degree of safety within the city. Indeed, we all know that a lot of people are afraid of public transports at night because of their lack of security. An improvement on this field can encourage other habitats to use public transportation.
However, such a tax also contains disadvantages. Some inhabitants will not agree with this new law because it is another amount to pay at the end of the month. Besides, some people have no choice but to use their own cars to get to their working place which sometimes is located outside the cities where public transports are not available. It will also bring problems for those who live in the countryside and work in cities.
To conclude, taxing private car owners could be a solution to the congestion and pollution problems by encouraging the use of public transports and imposing taxes only to rich populations who live in the city area would be a better solution, in my opinion.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the quantifier Original: too much traffic problems Suggested revision: too many traffic problems Why it matters: Problems is countable and plural, so it takes many rather than much.
- 2. Use the correct action Original: the setting of a new tax Suggested revision: the imposition of a new tax Why it matters: Imposition is the natural noun for introducing a tax.
- 3. Use uncountable transport Original: improve public transports and roads Suggested revision: improve public transport and roads Why it matters: Public transport is uncountable when referring to the system generally.
- 4. Add the article Original: discuss advantages and disadvantages Suggested revision: discuss the advantages and disadvantages Why it matters: The definite article is needed because these are the specific effects of the proposed solution.
- 5. Fix the noun pattern Original: the fact to tax private car owners heavily Suggested revision: the proposal to tax private car owners heavily Why it matters: Proposal can be followed by an infinitive, whereas fact cannot express this intended policy action.
- 6. Add from after deter Original: deter plenty of drivers and car owners using their own vehicles Suggested revision: deter many drivers and car owners from using their own vehicles Why it matters: Deter requires the pattern deter someone from doing something.
- 7. Correct transport usage Original: more public transports in their city Suggested revision: public transport more often in their cities Why it matters: Public transport is uncountable, and more often clearly expresses increased frequency of use.
- 8. Fix the preposition Original: a decrease of congestion Suggested revision: a decrease in congestion Why it matters: Decrease takes in when naming the thing that becomes less.
- 9. Use precise wording Original: pollution issues Suggested revision: pollution Why it matters: Pollution alone names the problem more directly and naturally.
- 10. Use the tax term Original: the harvested money Suggested revision: the revenue Why it matters: Revenue is the appropriate term for money collected through taxation.
- 11. Clarify what is replaced Original: remove less efficient and old transports Suggested revision: replace inefficient, old public transport vehicles Why it matters: Transport does not count individual vehicles, and replace states the intended improvement more clearly than remove.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: the degree of safety Suggested revision: the level of safety Why it matters: Level of safety is the standard collocation in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- too much traffic problems too many traffic problems
- the setting of a new tax the imposition of a new tax
- improve public transports and roads improve public transport and roads
- discuss advantages and disadvantages discuss the advantages and disadvantages
- the fact to tax private car owners heavily the proposal to tax private car owners heavily
- deter plenty of drivers and car owners using their own vehicles deter many drivers and car owners from using their own vehicles
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear advantages-and-disadvantages structure and offers relevant points about congestion, funding, affordability, and access. Its main limitation is that several ideas remain briefly asserted, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. Develop each key effect with a clearer causal explanation and use more natural forms for taxation, public transport, and people affected by the policy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages with relevant ideas, although support is sometimes brief and the proposed selective tax appears only in the conclusion.
Explain the most important benefit and drawback in greater depth and introduce the preferred policy qualification before the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is clear and the central argument is easy to follow, though linking is somewhat mechanical and some paragraphs are minimally developed.
Use topic-led transitions and extend each paragraph around one fully explained idea instead of relying on stock linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic and shows some range, but recurring collocation and word-choice errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Use accurate combinations such as taxing car owners, public transport, tax revenue, and residents rather than literal or inappropriate alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, but errors with articles, prepositions, plurals, and verb patterns recur throughout.
Prioritise article and preposition control, especially in noun phrases concerning transport, cities, taxation, and places of work.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should the government impose a heavy tax on private car owners to improve the public transportation system to reduce the traffic problem in many cities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.