Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Recently, there has been debate within societyturmoil among the community members regarding the migration of professionalstravelling of the professional workforce to other countries. Whilst proponentsthe proponents agree that medicalmedics and engineering professionals are obliged to serve their countries, opponents argue that they have the freedom to choose where to work. In the following essay, both notions will be scrutinized, and I will show my support for the latter viewone.
On the one hand, despite my disagreement, some people believea category of people discern that it is the duty of professionalsprofessional work sectors to serve their countriesserve their national services. This is because when they migrate to work in other countries, their home countries will experiencetheir homeland will encounter a severe brain drain. Moreover, they might face culturecultural shock in host countries that will consequently impede them from fulfillingfulfiling their dreams. An eminent example of this is the Gulf countriesGolf Countries which provide attractive jobsensure thriving jobs for their citizensnatives in order to encourage them to stay in their countries. Thus, as long as skilled workers are given promising job prospects by their homemother countries, they will exert their utmost efforts to stay and contribute to their countries' developmentstay and develop their countries.
On the other hand, opponents and I posit that all citizenscitizens of any category have the right to chooseselect where to live and work according to their own preferences. To illustrate this, if medical practitioners and civil engineers suffer from poor labour conditions in their countries, they will ultimately seek better living and working conditionshigher life and work standards globally. In Egypt, for instance, a plethora of professionals migrate as they suffer from poor healthcare and infrastructuredeteriorated health and infrastructure environment. Therefore, what can be said from this example is that not only do detrimental local conditions lead to brain drain, but they also lead to the suffering of the citizens.
In conclusion, after this essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that even though a proportion of people are of the belief that professionals who pursued their internship in definite countries ought to work in the same countries, I am a staunch believer that they have the right to quest for more prestigious work and life circumstances. Hence, authorities should entice their valuable workforce to stay by supporting them with prosperous opportunities.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is a clear position supported by a well-organised discussion of both views and relevant consideration of brain drain and working conditions. Its main limitation is frequent over-elaborate or inaccurate word choice, which makes several claims sound unnatural and sometimes blurs the logic of examples. The highest-priority improvement is to use simpler, more precise collocations and explain how each example directly supports compulsory service or freedom of employment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer’s preference is clear, although some supporting examples only partly substantiate the stated argument.
Show more directly why training creates an obligation to remain, and ensure each example demonstrates that specific claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The discussion progresses logically through distinct viewpoints, and paragraphing and referencing generally support clarity.
Reduce formulaic framing and make the logical link from each example to the paragraph conclusion more explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a wide range of less common vocabulary, but frequent collocational inaccuracies weaken precision and naturalness.
Prefer accurate combinations such as Gulf countries, better living standards, and employment opportunities over unnecessarily elaborate alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally well controlled, with most errors localised and meaning consistently clear.
Polish noun phrases, agreement, and article use in complex sentences to make the expression more consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.