Should the same laws which prohibit the sale and consumption of heroin be applied to tobacco? Discuss.
Sample Response
Firstly, tobacco does not differ much from heroin when it comes to the addictive effect. NicotineNicotin, the active ingredient in tobacco, exerts its effect by acting directly on a smoker’ssmoker’s brain cells. Numerous experiments carried out by scientistsscientist on animals, especiallyspecailly rats, proved that this toxic chemical eventually leads to dependencedoes lead by time to dependency, similarlyjust similarly to the effect experienced with heroinherion.
Secondly, the restriction on cigarette salescigerattes selling would surely cause an immediate declineshow an instant decline in tobacco smoking. ” Having easy access to cigarettes puts tremendous pressurea tremendous pressure, especially on teenagers,to resist such a temptation” Dr.Hisham, head of Psychology DepartmentPschycology department at Alexandria Medical college, states firmly. “Giving the new generation the sense that the severity of smoking is equivalentequivilant to the use of other lethal drugsother lethal drugs usage wouldwoulod be a life saving step, they will thank us for as they get older.” he continues.
To recapitulate, applying of a futuristic law such as the suggested one will definetly have a positive impact,not only on young people’s health but on our society as a whole.
Well done! This is a good essay, however, you should take care of your spelling.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a clear position and a straightforward progression from addiction to the likely effect of prohibition. Its main limitation is that it is substantially under length, offers only brief support, and includes an irrelevant closing comment, while frequent spelling and phrasing errors weaken precision. The highest priority is to develop both the legal comparison and its practical consequences with well-explained evidence before proofreading carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear supporting position is presented, but the response is substantially under length and the main reasons are only briefly developed.
Explain the consequences of treating tobacco like heroin in greater depth and address a possible objection to the proposed law.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasons follow a recognizable sequence with separate paragraphs, although progression is basic and the inserted quotation and closing comment disrupt the flow.
Use a purposeful introduction and integrate supporting evidence smoothly instead of relying on mechanical sequencing and a long quotation.
Lexical Resource
There is some relevant less common vocabulary, but frequent spelling errors and inaccurate collocations reduce precision.
Proofread recurring spellings and replace awkward phrases with accurate forms such as tobacco sales restrictions and growing dependence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences conveys the main meaning, but article, agreement, preposition, and punctuation errors recur.
Prioritize accurate noun phrases, subject-verb agreement, and sentence punctuation when revising complex ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should the same laws which prohibit the sale and consumption of heroin be applied to tobacco? Discuss.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.