There is a moral necessity today for the richer countries of the world to help the poorer countries develop in terms of feeding the population, education and health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
The world today is often divided into two categories: more developed and less developed countriestwo categories, more developed and less developed countries. This division is significant in terms of health, wealth and education. To minimise this gap, it is argued that richer countries are morally responsible for supportingresponsible to support the less wealthy. I personally feelI, personally, feel that the prosperous countries are obligated and expected to contributeto to contribute to the development of countries with weaker economies.
To supportaddress this argument, the history of the wealthy countries is relevant. Many less developed countries are former colonies; therefore,colonies, therefore the wealthy countries had a historical impact on the less wealthy. Thus, richer countries’ economies were dependent on the currently less developed countries for their wealthfor their rich status. Furthermore, even today the wealthy countries contribute to the wealth inequality by exploiting the inhabitants of less developed countries, giving workers lower wages than people within their own countries. Due to this dependence on poorer countries and the influence that the richer countries have had on the imbalance, it can be concluded that richer countries are indeed morally obliged to help the less wealthy countries.
Opposing this is the view that each country is in charge of their own inhabitants and that therefore they need to provide health, education and basic necessities for themselves. In addition, simply providing these three services would not closewould not lead to closing the wealth gap. Instead, it would be more helpfulIt would rather be helpful to invest sustainably in poorer countries and help them create their own systems, allowing these countries to be self-sufficient.
In conclusion, while there is a moral necessity for wealthy countries to aid the poorer ones, simply providing basic necessities is not sufficient. A more sustainable idea would be to teach countries to plan and provide for themselves by giving economic incentives.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its thoughtful, clearly sustained argument that wealthy countries have historical and continuing responsibilities, supported by relevant discussion of colonialism, exploitation, and sustainable assistance. Its main limitation is that the counter-position and practical implications for food, education, and health care receive less detailed development. The highest-priority improvement is to extend those dimensions with one precise example while correcting the few awkward or faulty sentence constructions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear, nuanced position is developed with relevant reasons, though the named areas of assistance and the opposing view could be explored further.
Add a concrete example showing how sustainable support could improve one of the specified areas while preserving self-sufficiency.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress coherently from responsibility to counterargument and solution, with effective paragraphing and generally natural cohesion.
Make the transition from the counterargument to the proposed sustainable alternative slightly more explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad and precise vocabulary for inequality, obligation, exploitation, and development, with only occasional repetition.
Reduce repetition of “wealthy” and “less developed countries” by using precise contextual substitutes where clarity is retained.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are handled confidently and accurately overall, despite a few slips in punctuation, agreement, and phrasing.
Correct local errors such as the repeated “to,” comma-spliced clauses, and singular-plural reference before finalising the essay.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
There is a moral necessity today for the richer countries of the world to help the poorer countries develop in terms of feeding the population, education and health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.