The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offencesoffenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Traffic safety measures have long been on the government’s agenda worldwide. Some people argue that to make road travel safer, governments have togovernment has to punish drivers more harshly if they break traffic lawsthe traffic law. I agree with the view that punishment can help curb road offenses, but it should not be taken as the only solution.
Admittedly, a severe punishment is vital considering its deterrent effect on those who are likely to disobey road regulations. For example, Australia is one of the safest countries in the worldall over the world. In this country, traffic violators are fined more seriously than some other countries. An instance is drivers will be detained if they are found to have drunk driving and a severe fine will be applied for over speeding rather than just verbal warning in some other places. Therefore, drivers and pedestrians become more aware of traffic laws and show greater compliance with the lawdemonstrate improved law compliance, since they know the serious consequences of their risky actions.
However, despite the importance of imposing harsh penaltiesregulations, the authorities should not overlook other options that may sometimes achieve better outcomes. One notable option is to considerOne salient example is that raising the legal driving age could improve road safetycontribute to the improvement of road safety. For example,It is seen that young peopleyouths are legally allowed to drive from the age of 16 or 17drive after 16 or 17 in some countries, such as the Philippines and the United Kingdomsuch as Philippines and United Kingdom. However, teenagers are usually more impulsive and less maturemore impetuous but less mature than adultsand are therefore more likely, hence are more likely to disobey the traffic regulations. As a result, increasing the legal driving age to a higher minimum agethe legal driving age to 21.5 in countries with high traffic accident rates could enhance young people’s awareness of traffic lawslaw since they have more time for training.
In conclusion, the apparent effectiveness of harsher punishments for traffic-law offendersthe harsher punishment measures on traffic law offenders should be acknowledged. However, this is not the only way to make road use saferthe only way that achieves better and safer usage of roads. An integrated approach should be adopted, including raising the legal driving ageadopted such as raising the legal driving age.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear and consistent partial-disagreement position, with a sensible structure that explains deterrence and then proposes another safety measure. Its main limitation is that parts of the evidence are questionable or only loosely connected to the claimed result, while recurring awkward grammar and collocation weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to build each example through a credible cause-and-effect chain and edit sentence structures for natural accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The task is fully addressed with a clear position and two relevant main ideas, although some supporting reasoning is not wholly convincing.
Explain more clearly how a higher driving age would reduce accidents, using a realistic mechanism rather than assuming it automatically increases legal awareness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear progression, and paragraphing and contrast markers make the position easy to follow.
Tighten the internal progression of each example so that evidence, explanation, and claimed safety outcome connect directly.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic-specific vocabulary, but recurrent unnatural collocations reduce lexical precision.
Use natural combinations such as "heavier fines," "drink-driving," and "speeding" instead of literal or awkward alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted frequently and meaning remains clear, but errors in clause formation, articles, and verb patterns recur.
Revise sentences with embedded examples and conditions, especially forms such as "One example is that drivers are detained" and "found drink-driving."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offencesoffenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.