It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to provide formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is argued that schools should teach students good behaviourteach students to be good people alongside providing formal educationapart from providing formal education. I completely agreeI completely agree with this statement because children spend long hours at schoolschools, and parents have to pay for tuition fees.
Schools should be responsible for teaching children good mannersteaching children to have good manners because children spend a significant amount of time at schoolschools. WhenThis is because when children spend a lot of time with teachers who act as their role modelsteachers who usually act as role models for them, students can learn and adoptimitate good manners. For example, students from a well-known schoolone of the most famous schools in Thailand reported that they behave wellbehave themselves well because their teachers had instilled good values in themtheir teachers instilled good values in them while at schoolwhile studying at schools.
Another reason is that parents have to pay tuition feesAnother reason is that parents have to pay for tuition fees, so they expect their children to develop good characterexpect their children to become good people. This is becauseThis is due to the fact that parents expect their children to be successful both professionally and personally. For instance, international schools in Thailand charge parents a lot of money, so their parents expect their children to be excellent not only at academic subjects, but also good manners.
In conclusion, schools have to be responsible for teaching good mannersteaching about good manners because children spend a lot of time at schools, and parents have to pay for educationaleducation costs.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a consistent position and follows a clear, easy-to-track structure, with the role-model argument explained effectively. Its main limitation is limited development: the tuition-fee reason is only partly relevant, ideas are repetitive, and the essay falls below the expected length. The highest priority is to add a stronger second argument that directly explains why schools share responsibility for children's behaviour.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant, but the short response relies on two narrow reasons, one of which is only partly convincing.
Develop a directly relevant second reason, such as schools' role in preparing children for social and civic life, with fuller explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and progression are clear, although repeated causal phrasing and restatement make the argument somewhat mechanical.
Vary the way supporting details are connected and ensure each body paragraph advances the argument rather than restating its premise.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally clear and appropriate, but repeated words and a few awkward combinations restrict flexibility.
Use more precise alternatives for recurring terms and check natural patterns such as showing good manners and succeeding academically.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences with generally clear meaning, despite several errors in prepositions, comparison, and parallel structure.
Review prepositional choices and keep paired structures grammatically parallel, especially constructions using not only and but also.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to provide formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.