Some people support the development of agriculture, like factory farming and the scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6.5)

Sample Response

1

This global population explosion has reduced the farmlandfarming lands and has greatlyoverwhelmingly increased the demand for food. To meet the demandaccord with the demand, many have already adopted intensive animal farming and scientific production of cropscreation of fruits while others still follow the traditional farming methodstraditional ways of farming. Both approaches have merits and drawbacks but to feed the growing populationfeed the hungry mouths, scientific approaches to produce more food should be welcomed with proper research. To begin with, traditional farming produces fresh and hygienic food that hashave adequate nutritional valuea proper nutrition. This approach also keeps the land fertile and does not produce livestockdo not make animal stocks that have been genetically modified. Consuming farm-fresh fruits and organic food is the key to havingthe secret to have a healthier life. However, the food production with this methodin this procedure is costly and sluggish. On the contrary, the world population has already reached overreached to over 7.6 billion and it is increasing rapidly. More population means less landfewer lands for cultivation. In this regardFrom this regards, I believe that scientific methods for producing more food at a reduced price areis a timely demand. Intensive animal farming or industrial livestock production maximize production while minimizing production costs and this is a necessary step to meet global food demandfeel the global food demand, I believe. To cite an example, the majority of the rural households in developing countries had farming lands and animal stocks to meet the demand for the family. These lands are shrinking to accommodate new family members and most of these households now rely on food items purchased from the market. If farmers do not adopt technology and scientific methods to produce more, people would starve. To conclude, we should employ scientific methods to support the development of agriculture at the current era where food demand is higher than any other time in the history, but proper research should be in place to ensure hygiene and quality of these productions.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response gives a clear position, considers both approaches, and develops the case for scientific agriculture with a relevant household example. Its effectiveness is reduced by the absence of paragraphing and by frequent agreement, article, and collocation errors; the highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and then edit sentences for accurate verb forms and natural word combinations.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

The response addresses both views, maintains a clear preference for scientific methods, and supports that position with relevant explanation and an example.

Next step

Develop the opposing view more fully and examine its drawbacks with the same specificity used for the preferred approach.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The argument has a recognizable logical sequence and useful transitions, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph weakens its organization.

Next step

Separate the introduction, each contrasting view, and the conclusion into clear paragraphs with one controlling purpose apiece.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, although recurring collocation and word-form problems make several phrases unnatural or imprecise.

Next step

Replace combinations such as 'from this regards,' 'feel the global food demand,' and 'quality of these productions' with standard academic collocations.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, but subject-verb agreement and sentence-boundary errors recur.

Next step

Check every finite verb against its subject and separate run-on clauses before refining articles and conditional forms.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Some people support the development of agriculture, like factory farming and the scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your response

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