In some countries, small town center shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?
Sample Response
The trend of people drivingThe trend that people drive to large shopping malls located away from the city centrethe central city threatens many small shops in city centrescentral cities with bankruptcywith going bankrupt, which also leads to great inconvenience to people without cars and a potential rise in car usage. Despite the downsides of these all-in-one locations, some positive aspects should be carefullynotably considered.
On the one hand, the popularity of large out-of-town malls will reduce the number of small shops clustered in urban centres. For example, small shops provide fresh fruit and vegetablesfresh vegetables and fruits for nearby residents becauseas travelling to the outskirts cannot be an everyday affair, especially for the elderly and the disabled. Therefore, this change makes daily shopping considerably less convenientbrings much inconvenience to daily shopping practices. In addition, the rise in car usage and the need to travel long distancesthe demand for long distances exacerbates environmental pollution. Frequent car journeystravels contribute to a substantial increase in vehicle emissionsa substantial increment in traffic exhaust worsening pollution levelswhich worsens pollution levels and jeopardizes human health in affected areasin those places.
However, there are many benefits of locating mega-stores outside townshaving mega-stores in out-of-town sites. The main one is that consumers have more choices as various branded products can be displayed. People are able to purchase what they need in one tripat one time instead of visiting several small shopshunting for different small stores, which greatly improves their shopping efficiency. Another advantage is that more city dwellers would choose to reside in suburban zones due to the change in their shopping preferences. Given thatGiven the fact that modern cities are faced with overpopulation and consequently growing pressure on housing supplyever-growing pressure on housing supply systems, this could be considered a first step towards relievinga start of relieving such pressure.
In conclusion, the trend towards establishing supermarkets in outlying areas of urban locations has far more positives. These stores not only allow customers to have many products available for purchase in one location, but also help to tackle the population pressuresproblems in modern cities.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear comparative position and logically organised discussion of several relevant benefits and drawbacks. Its main limitation is that some support, particularly the claim that out-of-town stores will relieve urban housing pressure, remains speculative, while several awkward collocations reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each argument through a more convincing causal explanation and express it with more natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides, maintains a clear position, and develops several relevant arguments, though one claimed benefit is somewhat speculative.
Strengthen the case that advantages outweigh disadvantages by explaining the suburban-housing link more convincingly or replacing it with a better-supported benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear four-paragraph structure, with effective signposting and generally well-managed referencing.
Make the internal progression of each body paragraph tighter by linking every example directly back to the comparative judgement.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary supports precise discussion, although awkward combinations such as 'car travels' and 'increment in traffic exhaust' occasionally weaken naturalness.
Prioritise accurate, idiomatic collocations, for example 'car journeys' and 'increase in vehicle emissions', over less natural formal phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally strong control, while a few agreement and phrasing problems occur without impeding meaning.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement and streamline heavy noun phrases to improve grammatical control and readability.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, small town center shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.