These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In modern times, the traditionalIn modern times the traditional gender roles are changing rapidly, resulting in more fathers staying at home looking after their offspring and mothers becoming the main breadwinners in the family. There are numerous causes for this and I think it’s a step in the right direction.
In the past few decades, there have been numerous women’s movements, as a result of which conventional gender roles have gone through a paradigm shift. Although this equality was only acquired after long hard battles fought by women’s right groups against the misogynist practices that existed a few decades ago. Furthermore, in the past few decadesin past few decades, we have also hadwe also had a number of men’s movementsa fair share of men’s movements whose main aim was to encourage men to get in touchmake men get in touch with their feminine side rather than feel ashamed of or disgusted by itfeel ashamed and disgusted with it.
Nonetheless, in many partsNonetheless in many parts of the world and indeed among many people worldwidein fact in the minds of many people across the globe, such a family system is considered to be an insult to a man’s masculinity, but Imasculinity but I beg to differ with this school of thought. In my view, it is a blessing to be living in an eraa time in history where both males and females can choose to take on whatever role they choosedecree. And since it has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that women can do most jobs just as wellgood, if not better than their male counterparts, there’scounterparts there’s nothing wrong with mothers taking on roles that are traditionally considered male rolestraditionally thought to be men-oriented.
All in all, due to successful women’s and men’s movements in recent decadesdeep into the last millennia, gender roles are changinggenders roles are getting swapped and I strongly believeI am of strong opinion that these changes are a blessing.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear positive position and uses a mature range of vocabulary to explain changing gender roles. Its main limitation is that the causes are narrowed largely to social movements and remain somewhat general, while several awkward or incomplete constructions weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop distinct economic and social reasons with concrete explanation, then proofread sentence boundaries and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear position, but the explanation of causes relies mainly on broadly stated social movements.
Develop two distinct reasons, such as changing earnings and social attitudes, with a specific causal explanation for each.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from causes to evaluation, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Integrate supporting sentences more smoothly and avoid beginning a standalone fragment with Although.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often sophisticated, though several choices are awkward or imprecise in context.
Prefer natural collocations such as perform jobs just as well and choose whatever role suits them.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used, but fragments, article errors, and weak sentence control recur.
Check subordinate clauses, articles, agreement, and punctuation so every complex sentence is complete and clearly bounded.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.