The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
Technology has advanced tremendously and significantly in the last century. This progression is conspicuous in a classroomschool-room today. Although some opine that this technology trendopine that, this technology trend will replace the traditionalclassic teacher's role, I strongly believe that the role of the traditional instructor is essentialthe position of standard instructor at essence in the educational process. This will be proven by analysing how the teachers are able to cater to students' needscater students' requirements, as well as catalyseas well as, catalyse and discipline them. It is agreed that for comprehensionfor comprehension aim the ability to give selective explanations is of paramount importancethe ability of selective explanation at paramount importance for various pupils. For instance, students differ in how quickly they understand new materialstudents are diverse of their assimilation degree, and the skilled instructor who is capable of fulfilling these various learners' needsvarieties of learners need in form of rephrasing or simplifying the concepthis conception. Obviously, the computer-based teacher is not aimed at that uniquely human taskhumankind unique task. Thus, these new devices are not ideal to remove human participationdismiss the human participation in teaching procedure.
In addition, motivation and discipline are critical keystones in the educational procedure. This is certainly true in dealing with children who need sensitive approaches to fortify their perceptions and skills. By contrastIn contrary, the computer-based course is designed to be implementedis directed to implement in a constant non-interactive procedure. Therefore, human instructors could not be replaced fruitfully with advanced technologyapparatus.
To put it in a nutshell, though contemporary modern technology has a significant influence on our life, I personally believe that the essence role cannot simply be replaced or reducedcannot be simply replaced or subtract in favour of computerised lifestyle. However, we should utilise this equipment in order to reinforce the teacher's contribution in the educational progression.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay maintains a clear disagreement and offers two relevant reasons for retaining teachers: their ability to adapt explanations and to provide motivation and discipline. However, the ideas receive limited support, and frequent awkward vocabulary and grammatical errors make parts of the argument difficult to follow. Develop each reason with a concrete classroom example, using natural academic wording and shorter, controlled sentences to improve clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear disagreement and presents relevant reasons: teachers adapt explanations and provide motivation/discipline. However, support is limited and examples are thin, so the argument is not fully developed.
Add one concrete classroom example for each reason and briefly acknowledge what technology can do before explaining why it cannot fully replace teachers.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is basic paragraphing and a logical sequence, but cohesion is sometimes awkward and repetitive. Some sentences are hard to follow because linking language is misused.
Use clearer topic sentences and simpler transitions such as 'First', 'Another reason', and 'However'.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary range is attempted, but many choices are unnatural or inaccurate: 'standard instructor at essence', 'comprehension aim', 'humankind unique task', and 'advanced apparatus'.
Prioritise natural academic vocabulary over unusual synonyms: 'human teacher', 'essential role', 'individual learning needs', and 'educational technology'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors occur in articles, prepositions, sentence structure, and verb forms. Meaning is sometimes strained, especially in long complex sentences.
Write shorter sentences with clear subject-verb-object structure, then add one controlled subordinate clause where needed.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.