People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?
Sample Response
Many individuals today spend extended periodsfind themselves spending extended periods away from their families, a change driven largely by globalization and changing lifestyle prioritiesevolving lifestyles. This phenomenon has both social and emotional consequences for individuals and their families.
Globalization has expanded job markets beyond national borders. Professionals often accept overseas opportunities for higher income, professional experience, or skill developmentbetter income, exposure, or skill development. Moreover, remote-working culturedigital work culture has created a mobile workforce, enabling people to livesettle in distant cities while working remotely. Additionally, the desire for independence and personal space, especially among younger generations, contributes to this physical distance from their familiesthis physical distance from family.
While living apart can offerthis separation can offer financial benefits and personal growth, it also disrupts traditional family dynamics. Parents may miss key milestones in their children’s lives, weakening emotional bonds. Similarly, children and olderelderly parents may feel neglected or unsupported. Over time, prolonged separation may leadthis distance may lead to a sense of disconnection, even if family members communicate online.
In summary, while modern lifestyles and economic factors explain the increasing time people spend away from families, this shift poses emotional and psychological challenges that can affectimpact long-term relationships and family cohesion.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is clearly organised and uses accurate, varied language to explain several causes and consequences. However, at 179 words, its ideas are too compressed: claims about mobile work, independence, and family disconnection receive little concrete development, which limits task fulfilment. The priority is to reach the required length by explaining causal links more fully and adding a specific, relevant example for each main part of the question.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed with relevant causes and effects, but the substantially under-length response develops them only briefly and generally.
Extend each main idea with a fuller causal explanation and a specific example so the response reaches at least 250 words.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, with cohesive links used effectively.
Strengthen connections within the body paragraphs by making the relationship between each claim and its consequence more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective phrases such as “traditional family dynamics,” “emotional bonds,” and “family cohesion.”
Replace broad wording such as “exposure” and repeated references to “distance” with more specific, context-rich expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A strong range of simple and complex sentence structures is handled accurately, with only minor non-impeding imperfections.
Refine the occasional awkward construction, particularly the description of remote workers settling in distant cities, for greater precision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.