Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?
Sample Response
The ever increasing job competition, the pressure of constant deadlines, the dependence on technology at worktechnological dependency in jobs and people’s expectation to thrive in the workplace have changed the definition of professional life and most employeesmost of the employees are required to workrequire to work harder and long hoursfor long hours each day. In this essay, I will examine the reasons behind this work pressure and lengthy working hours and suggest some ways employersways that the employers can help improve these conditionsimprove the condition. High competition in the job market is one of the reasons why jobs have become sosuch stressful these days. Employers always have options to find new employees and replace existing staffoptions for finding new employees and replace someone and this is why someone who has already been hired has to work hard to save his job. This naturally has negative psychological effects on employees. Employees have to work for longer hours to meet their performance targetstarget as the constant threat of dismissalinvisible threat of firing is there. Increasing competition caused by globalisation is another reason to make the workplace sosuch stressful. Many small and medium business entities need to compete with other multinational companies and companies in developing nations where labour costsprice is cheaper. The effect of this on employees is that they know they may be made redundant if the business they work for fails. This forcesforce the employees not only to work longer hours but also to suffernot only to work longer hours but also suffer from work-related stress and uncertainty. In most of the organisations, the employers these days set targets for the employees and most of the targets are hard to achieve. As a result, employees are forced to work beyond 10 hours per day and even on days offdays-off. Finally, people’s expectations of their workplacespeople’s expectation from the offices have risenhave reached to a higher position and people are ready to sacrifice their personal life for the sake of promotions. This shift of mindsetmind setup has also contributedattributed to the increasing work pressure. Despite the higher competition in business, employers should ensure a healthy working environment and support their workers morally and financially in order to sustain in the long run. An organisation cannot survive without experiencedexperiences and dedicated employees and constant fear of uncertainty cannot ensure a healthy workplace. Employers should encourage employees to work the regular hours and work overtime only when it is absolutely necessary. The employers should also encourage people who perform better and award them for their performance. The workers should be allowed to take breaks and should not suffer from anxiety of losing jobs. Finally, the employers should have a friendly relationship with the workers and have meetings to listen to their problemsproblem. If the employer can assure the employees that they are ready to help each other and their jobs are secured, they can then expect better outputs from the employees. In conclusion, higher competition in the job market, globalisation and people’s aim to reach higher are the main reasons for stress in the workplace and the employers have a lot to contribute to improving this situation. A healthy workplace is very crucial for the best performance by the employees.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its extensive, relevant coverage of both the causes of workplace pressure and practical employer responses, with a clear position sustained throughout. Its main limitation is that the ideas are presented in one very long block and are sometimes expressed through awkward or inaccurate wording. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and revise recurring collocation and sentence-control errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions directly and develops several relevant causes and employer actions, although some points overlap or remain generalised.
Develop fewer causes and solutions more selectively, using one precise example or consequence for each main point.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from causes to solutions and uses clear linking, but the lack of visible paragraph breaks weakens organisation across the long response.
Separate the introduction, distinct cause groups, employer measures, and conclusion into clear paragraphs with focused topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary supports detailed discussion, but recurring unnatural collocations and word choices reduce precision despite generally clear meaning.
Replace awkward phrases with natural combinations such as job insecurity, labour costs, experienced employees, and higher productivity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but frequent agreement, article, infinitive, and sentence-pattern errors limit grammatical control.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and verb patterns, especially after singular subjects and structures such as require and force.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.