In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Sample Response
Recent years have witnessed tremendous developments in agricultural science, yetscience yet every day people all over the world continue to suffer and even die from hunger. In my opinion, this is because innovations rarely impact the developing world and the best solution to this problemthe best solution for it is to direct humanitarian funding towards implementing these advancestowards these advances.
The main reason more advanced agricultural methods do not reachcause of more advanced agricultural methods not reaching the people who need them mostneed it the most is that the developing world has trouble implementing these methods. There are a number of reasons for this ranging from limited financial resources to poor existing infrastructure to political instability, depending on the country in question. One example of this would be in many African nations, where malnourishment has historically been highest. Countries like the Congo have seen revolution after revolution over the last several decades, which has effectively destabilised the entire country. The universities where students would learn about advanceschanges in agriculture are frequently shut down or destroyed. The young people who would become agricultural scientists end up drawn into the conflict as soldiers or victims. Long-term economic neglect means that the government has very limited ability to subsidise farming. These problems are present to varying degrees in countries around the world and offer one possible explanation for the continued prevalence of hunger.
The most effective solution would be to directsolution that I believe would be most effective is directing humanitarian funds currently allocated to food aidfunds previously focused on food aid towards education and agricultural infrastructure. Food aid is a notoriously poor solution because it only offers an short-term reliefimmediate solution and warlords often exploit it to support their continued mistreatment of their people. It hurts more than it helps. However, there would be better long-term effects if international organisations and governments redirected that money into helping build better farms, provide more modern equipment, and sending qualified professions to train people in need. There is a TED TalkTedTalk by a young man in Kenya who built his own windmill from old bicycle parts after reading a book in the local libraryout of old bicycle parts and by reading a book in the local library. It wasis large enough to power his own house and he was seeking financing for a larger one that would power an irrigation systempower irrigation channels for the entire village. If more people like him can be found or trained, thentrained then their work will have an impactthis will have an impact that lasts for decades and is relatively resistantimpervious to the factors preventing agricultural advances from taking root in developing countries.
In conclusion, developing countriescompanies face myriad problems that hinder their ability to take advantage of newer agricultural methodsmodels and we should direct more funding to helphelping these countries learn more about new farming methods. This is likely to be an important issue in the world as the gap between rich and poor, developed and undeveloped widens while technological progress continues its indifferent march forward.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear cause-and-solution structure and develops its ideas at length, with the discussion of weak infrastructure and instability providing a coherent central explanation. Its main limitation is that some claims are overgeneralised and the windmill example is only indirectly connected to hunger; using a more precise agricultural example and explicitly showing how the proposed investment improves food access would sharpen the argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are answered with a clear position and substantial development, though some support is broad or only partly relevant.
Use a directly relevant farming example and explain more precisely how redirected funding would reduce hunger rather than only improve technology.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised and generally progresses well, although the long body paragraphs occasionally become diffuse.
Divide or tighten the extended supporting discussion so each example leads promptly back to the paragraph's central claim.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a broad vocabulary and some effective precise choices, but several collocations and word forms are inaccurate.
Correct choices such as qualified professions and developing companies, and favour conventional terms such as agricultural techniques.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally clear control, despite several local errors in parallelism, articles, and complementation.
Proofread coordinated structures, especially sequences such as helping build, provide, and sending, to keep their grammatical forms parallel.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.