The incidence of crimes and atrocities committed by the youth is increasing like wildfire in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this? Suggest at least one solution to curb it.
Sample Response
Undoubtedly, the rate of vandalism has grown considerablyhas grown far considerably in urban areas during the last several decadesduring last several decades. Youth are motivated to commit a wider variety of offencesmore variety of offences than before, and I believe that unemployment and overpopulation are two important reasons for that. Some effectiveinfluential solutions, implementedconsidered by authorities, can reduce this rate.
To begin with, it is true that the number of violators has increased significantlyfundamentally grown in many cities. The first reason behind it is that the number of unemployed peoplethe figures for jobless people have dramatically risen. Clearly, due to the economic recession of 2008, the rate of unemployment sharply increased, especially in some countries with more vulnerable economiescountries which have had a more vulnerable economy. For example, in Iran, thousands of juveniles were fired because their employers were not able to afford their wages; therefore, this group were more likely to becomehad more trends to become offenders who damagedthose offenders damaging private or public premises. To take revenge on the governmentTo revenge the government, they have tried many times to ruin natural habitatshabitat, like setting forests on firefiring woods. Another reason is the increase in the global populationthe increasing of the global population. To control criminals, more police officersforce should be hired; however, in many cities, insufficient police officers have created less safe living conditions than in the pastan unsafe living condition than the past. As a result, offenders, especially the young who have more energy, have found better opportunities to cross the line and commit more violations.
To address these issues, state authorities can implement some practical solutions to suppress the crime rate. One is that improving the economy. Having a higher incomes and better job opportunitiesbetter income and job positions, citizens, including juveniles, will be less interested in offences, like car robbery, shoplifting or even setting fire to natural areasfiring the wildlife. In addition, administrations should not only increase the number of police officers but have more practical measures to control overcrowdingsolutions for controlling of overcrowding in cities. For instance, had the New York government followed this outline, the number of dangerous criminals would have significantly dropped.
In conclusion, economiceconomy depression and increasing the density of people, especially in urban areas, have led the rate of violence to incline. To tackle them, I think it is better governments not only create a better economy condition for citizens but consider some important plans to decrease the birth rate in cities.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in its recognizable structure: it identifies two causes and proposes several corresponding actions. However, development is often weakened by implausible or unclear causal links, while frequent collocational and grammatical errors make several sentences awkward. The highest priority is to build each cause-and-solution chain with a realistic, clearly explained example, then express it in simpler, more accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both requested parts are addressed, but several explanations and examples are insufficiently convincing or logically connected to youth crime.
Develop each proposed cause with a realistic mechanism and ensure every solution directly targets that cause.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overall structure and generally understandable progression, though some internal links and references are mechanical or unclear.
Use one focused cause or solution per paragraph and connect each example explicitly to the preceding claim.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range and some less common vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Choose familiar, accurate combinations such as “economic depression” and “set fire to forests” instead of forcing ambitious expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but recurring errors in articles, clause formation, comparison, and complementation make phrasing awkward.
Improve control of sentence patterns after linking verbs and comparative structures before adding further complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The incidence of crimes and atrocities committed by the youth is increasing like wildfire in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this? Suggest at least one solution to curb it.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.