Some young people are deliberately damaging the public places. Write an essay by addressing what are the causes of it, how they are damaging and what can be done in order to stop it.
Sample Response
In the past, public places were developed for the benefit of societythe society and everybody seemed to respect that. However, nowadays some young people are playingsome youth are playing a major role in damaginga crucial role in destroying such places by organising parties at these public spacesthese free locations. Prioritising socialisingGiving importance to socialise with their friends is one of the major reasons which promptsprovoke them to engage in such activitiesperform such activity. To tackle this, the government's rolegovernment’s role will be consideredwill be analysed for viability and parents should take some steps as well. To begin with, sadly some young people are more focused on socialisinginclined towards their social life. Thus, in order to spend time with friends, they prefer arrangingsetting meetings or parties in public placesat the public places. As a consequence, they create a lot of litter in gardens or parks, which not only spoils the beauty of the place but also contributes to pollutioncontributes towards the pollution. Therefore, it is apparent that prioritising social life is the main cause of creating rubbish in public places. Although many young people are responsible,Though there are quite responsible youths yet there are some young people who seemsome youth who seems very eager to show their power in the public places and they do whatever they wish. There are many ways in which that group of young peopleways how those bunch of young people are disturbing the peacedestroying the peacefulness of such public places. They often shout, talk loudly to friendstalk to friends loudly which might be disturbing for others. TheyAgain, They often smoke in public places which isare harmful to others and such young people care very less to respect the rules of those public place and often fight each other and show muscle powers to others which are very abominable especially in public places. To counter this, the government should restrict people from using such places for their personal benefit. This can be done by enforcing strict rules and penalties if individuals organise any private event at such places. Apart from government’s involvement in solving this urgent issue, the awareness among people must be increased. They should know the harmfulness and long-term effects of damaging public places and they should spontaneously volunteer to avoid this. As it is seen that young generation is playing a crucial role in spoiling the communal places by producing garbage which results from the parties held at these places. It is thus hoped that government will introduce the subject related to the importance of public places in the school curriculum and target towards the reduction in the misuse of such places.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers causes, forms of damage, and possible solutions, and its sequence from explanation to action is generally easy to follow. However, development is uneven: some behaviours are only loosely connected to deliberate damage, the promised parental role is omitted, and frequent awkward or inaccurate language weakens precision. The highest priority is to select clearer causes and consequences, support each with a focused example, and edit long sentences for control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All three parts of the task are addressed, but some ideas are unevenly developed or only loosely related to deliberate damage.
Explain two precise causes and link each clearly to a specific form of damage and a practical solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a broadly logical cause-damage-solution sequence, although repetition and some overloaded passages weaken progression.
Divide each main function into a focused paragraph and reduce repeated references to parties, litter, and public places.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but frequent unnatural collocations and word choices limit precision.
Replace awkward expressions such as show muscle powers and care very less with natural, exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but agreement, article, pronoun, and run-on errors recur throughout.
Break long coordinated sentences into controlled units and check subject-verb agreement and singular-plural forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some young people are deliberately damaging the public places. Write an essay by addressing what are the causes of it, how they are damaging and what can be done in order to stop it.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.