The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Sample Response
The pie chart and table show reasons for worldwide land degradation & causes of land degradation in three different regions respectively in the 1990s. The main cause of land degradation worldwide was over-grazing which caused 35% land degradation, while the highest percentage of land degradation in different regions was due to over-grazing and in Oceania, this was the highest. It can be examined that the second largest factor of land degradation was deforestation which differentiates by 5% less than over-grazing. Then the third driven-reason of land degradation was over-cultivation with 28% effect on land degradation. These three main reasons caused 93% total degradation of lands and remaining 7% was due to other reasons. The area where highest land degraded occurred was in Europe which was 23%. Oceania (that included Australia and New Zealand and a large part of South Pacific) ranked as the second highest land-degraded area by only around a half of European land degradation percentage. North America is the area with the least land degradation, especially with least deforestation. Deforestation and over-cultivation contributed to European land degradation more than other parts as they were the highest level of degradation in each region.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal conjunction Original: & Suggested revision: and Why it matters: Use the written conjunction rather than an ampersand in an academic report.
- 2. Remove misplaced respectively Original: in three different regions respectively Suggested revision: in three different regions Why it matters: 'Respectively' is unnecessary because no ordered one-to-one pairing is being stated.
- 3. Use direct reporting phrase Original: It can be examined that Suggested revision: The chart shows that Why it matters: The replacement states the visual evidence directly and naturally.
- 4. Express difference accurately Original: differentiates by 5% less than Suggested revision: was 5 percentage points lower than Why it matters: The figures are 30% and 35%, a difference of five percentage points.
- 5. Use correct cause phrase Original: third driven-reason Suggested revision: third-largest cause Why it matters: 'Driven-reason' is not a standard expression for ranking a cause.
- 6. Use percentage structure Original: with 28% effect on land degradation Suggested revision: accounting for 28% of land degradation Why it matters: This structure correctly connects the cause to its percentage share.
- 7. Use correct proportion phrase Original: 93% total degradation of lands Suggested revision: 93% of total land degradation Why it matters: A percentage requires 'of', and 'land degradation' is the appropriate uncountable phrase.
- 8. Add required article Original: and remaining 7% Suggested revision: and the remaining 7% Why it matters: 'Remaining' needs the definite article when referring to the rest of a known total.
- 9. Keep terminology consistent Original: reasons Suggested revision: causes Why it matters: 'Causes' matches the category label used in the chart and the surrounding discussion.
- 10. Use non-defining relative Original: that Suggested revision: which Why it matters: The parenthetical clause adds non-defining information, so 'which' is appropriate.
- 11. Add geographical article Original: a large part of South Pacific Suggested revision: a large part of the South Pacific Why it matters: The geographical name 'the South Pacific' requires the definite article.
- 12. Describe regional proportion Original: second highest land-degraded area Suggested revision: region with the second-highest proportion of degraded land Why it matters: The table compares percentages of land degraded, not the absolute size of degraded areas.
Suggested Rewrites
- & and
- in three different regions respectively in three different regions
- It can be examined that The chart shows that
- differentiates by 5% less than was 5 percentage points lower than
- third driven-reason third-largest cause
- with 28% effect on land degradation accounting for 28% of land degradation
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the principal global causes and correctly ranks Europe, Oceania, and North America by total degradation, giving it a sound factual core. However, the regional table is described too generally and one claim implies that over-grazing dominates across the regions, while frequent awkward constructions reduce clarity; prioritise exact cause-by-region comparisons in a more clearly structured report.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main global proportions and regional totals are mostly accurate, but the overview is dispersed and the region-specific causes receive limited numerical comparison.
State clearly that Europe had the highest total degradation, then compare the dominant cause in each region using figures such as 9.8%, 3.3%, and 11.3%.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report moves from the pie chart to regional totals in a broadly logical sequence, though the single paragraph and some overloaded sentences weaken progression.
Organise the response into an overview followed by separate detail paragraphs for global causes and regional patterns.
Lexical Resource
Relevant vocabulary is used throughout, but frequent unnatural combinations such as third driven-reason and highest land degraded reduce lexical precision.
Use established reporting phrases such as third-largest cause, proportion of land degraded, and the region with the highest degradation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted and meaning remains generally clear, but article omissions, malformed superlatives, agreement problems, and awkward clause construction occur frequently.
Build comparisons with controlled patterns such as Europe recorded the highest total, while North America had the lowest, and proofread each clause for articles and verb forms.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.