The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Sample Response
The given information shows the main reasons of lands get less productive and also shows the effect of land losing its productivity in three different regions of the world during the 1990s. As is presented in the graphs, over-grazing & deforestation are two main reasons for lands becoming less productive and these two reasons contribute to 65% of this short of less productivity of lands. Another important reason for lands are getting less productive is over cultivations which is 28% reason for this effect. All other reasons cause 7% of this decreased productivity of lands. The reasons for which the lands degraded vary region to region and according to the table data, European lands are getting less productive by 23% in the 1990s because of deforestation, over-cultivation and over-grazing. Deforestation was the major reason why the European lands got less productive and it was 9.8% while two other reasons were around 5% to 7%. In Oceana region which comprised a large portion of South Pacific Islands, Australia and New Zealand had 13% decrease of land’s procuring capability and over-cultivation was not the reason there. Finally, North American countries were less affected (only 5%) for those man created reasons of land’s decrease in productivity.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct reason clause Original: reasons of lands get less productive Suggested revision: reasons why land becomes less productive Why it matters: 'Reasons why' introduces the clause, and 'land' is uncountable in this general use.
- 2. Name degradation extent Original: effect of land losing its productivity Suggested revision: extent of land degradation Why it matters: The table quantifies degraded land rather than describing a general effect.
- 3. Use formal conjunction Original: over-grazing & deforestation Suggested revision: over-grazing and deforestation Why it matters: Formal prose should use the conjunction 'and' instead of an ampersand.
- 4. Use uncountable land noun Original: reasons for lands becoming less productive Suggested revision: reason for land becoming less productive Why it matters: 'Land' is uncountable when referring generally to agricultural land.
- 5. Use proportion collocation Original: contribute to 65% Suggested revision: account for 65% Why it matters: Categories 'account for' a proportion of a total.
- 6. Clarify productivity loss Original: this short of less productivity of lands Suggested revision: this loss of land productivity Why it matters: The revision replaces a malformed phrase with the precise phenomenon shown.
- 7. Correct reason phrase Original: reason for lands are getting less productive Suggested revision: reasons for land becoming less productive Why it matters: The preposition 'for' takes a gerund phrase, and 'land' is uncountable.
- 8. Use standard cause noun Original: over cultivations Suggested revision: over-cultivation Why it matters: The chart labels this uncountable cause with a hyphenated singular noun.
- 9. Express percentage contribution Original: 28% reason for this effect Suggested revision: responsible for 28% of the degradation Why it matters: The revision creates a grammatical phrase that accurately relates the cause to its share.
- 10. Use concise degradation term Original: this decreased productivity of lands Suggested revision: this land degradation Why it matters: The standard term is clearer and avoids the awkward plural 'lands'.
- 11. Name causes directly Original: reasons for which the lands degraded Suggested revision: causes of land degradation Why it matters: The concise noun phrase removes the ungrammatical relative construction.
- 12. Add range prepositions Original: vary region to region Suggested revision: vary from region to region Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'vary from ... to ...'.
Suggested Rewrites
- reasons of lands get less productive reasons why land becomes less productive
- effect of land losing its productivity extent of land degradation
- over-grazing & deforestation over-grazing and deforestation
- reasons for lands becoming less productive reason for land becoming less productive
- contribute to 65% account for 65%
- this short of less productivity of lands this loss of land productivity
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response accurately identifies all four global causes and their proportions, and it correctly contrasts Europe as the most affected region with North America as the least affected. Its main limitation is incomplete regional detail, especially the omission of over-grazing as Oceania's dominant cause and over-cultivation as North America's main cause. The highest-priority improvement is to compare the leading cause in each region using exact table figures and clearer language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The global percentages and regional totals are mostly accurate, but key regional comparisons and dominant causes are omitted or only vaguely reported.
State that over-grazing accounts for 11.3% in Oceania, over-cultivation for 3.3% in North America, and deforestation for 9.8% in Europe.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from the pie chart to the regional table, but the single-paragraph structure and repeated phrasing make progression less effective.
Use a separate overview and one detail paragraph for each visual, grouping the regional comparisons by highest and lowest figures.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers causes, regions, and productivity, but frequent awkward or inaccurate expressions reduce precision and naturalness.
Use concise terms such as 'land degradation', 'accounted for', 'the dominant cause', and 'the proportion of land affected'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear, although errors in clause structure, agreement, articles, and noun forms occur throughout the report.
Revise patterns such as 'reasons why land becomes less productive', 'over-cultivation accounts for 28%', and 'causes varied by region'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Your response
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