The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Sample Response
The presented pie chart outlines main reasons for degradation of farming land worldwide. Meanwhile, the table lists the percentages of land degradation caused in the three regions in the world in the 1990s. In general, deforestation and over-grazing are true as massive factors for agricultural land degradation worldwide.
Looking at the details, over-grazing and deforestation amass more than fifty percent land degradation, 35% and 30% respectively. In contrast, over-cultivation and other causes only confirm 35% of land degradation.
Meanwhile, regarding the region, in 1990s deforestation was the highest percentage of land degradation in Europe and accounted 9.8% of total degradation of lands. This figure was higher than over-cultivation and over-grazing in the same region. However, over-grazing was the highest percentage of land degradation factor in Oceania, 11.3% out of 13% of total land degraded for this reason. Yet, in North America, over-cultivation counted 3.3% of land degradation and was the highest cause among other factors in the same region, although it was not a high percentage compared to other causes in the other region.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article Original: outlines main reasons Suggested revision: outlines the main reasons Why it matters: The specified set of causes requires the definite article.
- 2. Fix noun phrase Original: for degradation of farming land Suggested revision: for the degradation of agricultural land Why it matters: The construction requires an article, and 'agricultural land' matches the task terminology.
- 3. Describe table accurately Original: percentages of land degradation caused in the three regions Suggested revision: percentages of land degraded by each cause in three regions Why it matters: The table reports the share of land degraded, separated by cause and region.
- 4. State ranking clearly Original: deforestation and over-grazing are true as massive factors Suggested revision: over-grazing and deforestation are the two largest causes Why it matters: The original phrase is unidiomatic, while the replacement gives the worldwide ranking shown.
- 5. Fix proportion phrase Original: amass more than fifty percent land degradation Suggested revision: account for more than half of worldwide land degradation Why it matters: Causes 'account for' a proportion, and the proportion requires 'of'.
- 6. Use correct chart verb Original: only confirm 35% of land degradation Suggested revision: together account for the remaining 35% of land degradation Why it matters: 'Account for' expresses a chart share, while 'confirm' does not.
- 7. Introduce regional data Original: regarding the region Suggested revision: regarding the regional data Why it matters: The paragraph compares multiple regions rather than one unspecified region.
- 8. Add decade article Original: in 1990s Suggested revision: in the 1990s Why it matters: Decades take the definite article in this time expression.
- 9. Name leading cause Original: was the highest percentage of land degradation in Europe Suggested revision: caused the largest share of land degradation in Europe Why it matters: The cause produces a share; it is not itself a percentage.
- 10. Add preposition Original: accounted 9.8% Suggested revision: accounted for 9.8% Why it matters: The verb phrase is 'accounted for'.
- 11. Use uncountable land Original: total degradation of lands Suggested revision: land degradation Why it matters: 'Land' is uncountable in this general environmental measure.
- 12. Compare like quantities Original: higher than over-cultivation and over-grazing Suggested revision: higher than the figures for over-cultivation and over-grazing Why it matters: A numerical figure must be compared with other figures, not directly with causes.
Suggested Rewrites
- outlines main reasons outlines the main reasons
- for degradation of farming land for the degradation of agricultural land
- percentages of land degradation caused in the three regions percentages of land degraded by each cause in three regions
- deforestation and over-grazing are true as massive factors over-grazing and deforestation are the two largest causes
- amass more than fifty percent land degradation account for more than half of worldwide land degradation
- only confirm 35% of land degradation together account for the remaining 35% of land degradation
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the dominant worldwide causes and accurately reports the leading cause in each region, giving it a useful factual core. However, its overview omits the most important regional comparison: Europe had the greatest total degradation at 23%, followed by Oceania at 13% and North America at 5%; awkward vocabulary also obscures some relationships. Prioritise a complete two-part overview and use precise comparative language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main global causes and each region's leading cause are reported, but the overview does not compare the key total degradation rates across regions.
State that Europe had the highest total at 23%, Oceania followed at 13%, and North America was lowest at 5%, then support this overview selectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, overview, and separate global and regional detail sections, though linking is somewhat mechanical.
Organise the regional paragraph around the highest-to-lowest total figures before comparing the dominant cause within each region.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe the charts, but repeated wording and inaccurate choices such as amass, confirm, and counted reduce precision.
Use standard data-reporting verbs such as accounted for, represented, and constituted, while varying references to land degradation carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex sentences are attempted, but recurring article, preposition, agreement, and noun-form errors weaken accuracy.
Check articles and verb patterns in statistical statements, especially accounted for, in the 1990s, and a percentage of land.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.