The plans below show a college café before it was redesigned and how it looks now.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The plans show how a college café looked prior to redesign and its present layoutcafe has been redesigned. Overall, the café has undergone notable changes, including the addition of outdoor amenities such as seating and a barbecue, as well as specialised food counters and recycling facilities.
Prior to the redesign, on the north-west cornertop left side of the cafe was a kitchen with a small dedicated area for serving all kinds of food and drink. The largest part of the cafe was occupied by tables and chairs, whilewas meant for tables and chairs ,while a small space was intended for two separate staff dining rooms. Furthermore, on the right side, near the entrance, there was a bin and, in the bottom-right corner, space was reservedspace was arranged for toilets.
In the redesigned layout, the serving area has been changed intowas changed into a dedicated counter for hot meals , while a small salad bar has been added to the far left wall of the main seating area . In addition, the staff dining rooms have been transformed into separate areaswere transformed into a room for collecting takeaway food and a coffee bar. The bins near the entrance have been expanded and converted into recycling binsones. Additionally, a new external door now leads to an outdoor seating area along the south edge, with a barbecue located to the far left.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response excels in providing a detailed and highly accurate summary of the architectural changes with a clear overview. Key layout transformations are logically structured using precise spatial and comparative language. To refine this further, ensure consistent tense choices when describing past and present states and eliminate minor punctuation formatting errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All main changes between the two plans are identified clearly, accurately, and thoroughly with a well-developed overview.
Maintain this high standard by continuing to highlight key trends and functional shifts concisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reporting flows logically through well-structured paragraphs using a clear chronological and spatial sequence.
Ensure cohesive transition words and punctuation marks are spaced correctly without accidental gaps.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise vocabulary and spatial terms is used flexibly to describe map modifications.
Incorporate even more varied collocations related to structural renovation to enhance sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad variety of complex sentence patterns and appropriate dynamic tenses are used with high accuracy.
Consistently apply present perfect structures when contrasting the historical layout with current features.