The plans below show a college café before it was redesigned and how it looks now.
Sample Response
The map illustrates the layout of university cafe before its redesign and the current plan for the area.
Overall, it is evident that the cafe's underwent several significant changes, including serving area and staff dining rooms with new food and drink facilities and the addition of outdoor seating. However, tables and chairs, toilets, and kitchen remained unchanged.
Looking into the details into changes the west side of existing serving area of all food and drink are segmented by three parts such as hot meals, salad bar and barbecue. Similarly, there was bin in the east side of the map, and that was redesigned by recycling bins at current period. Furthermore, existing tables and chairs are in the same position at the centre of the cafe.
With regard to the remaining information, staff dining rooms are removed and replaced by take away food and coffee bar. However, in the past there was toilets in the east side of the map, that was stayed at the same place in present time. Finally, outdoor seating are added for the convenience of the customers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Missing article Original: of university cafe Suggested revision: of a university café Why it matters: A singular countable noun needs an article like 'a'.
- 2. Incorrect possessive Original: cafe's Suggested revision: café Why it matters: Use the plain noun before the verb 'underwent' instead of a possessive form.
- 3. Inaccurate detail Original: kitchen remained unchanged. Suggested revision: the kitchen remained unchanged, though the serving area inside was altered. Why it matters: The serving area inside the kitchen was changed specifically to a hot meals area.
- 4. Inaccurate layout description Original: details into changes the west side of existing serving area of all food and drink are segmented by three parts such as hot meals, salad bar and barbecue. Suggested revision: details, the original serving area was replaced by a hot meals counter, while a salad bar and barbecue area were introduced along the western wall. Why it matters: The salad bar and barbecue were placed along the western wall and exterior, not within the original serving area.
- 5. Missing article and preposition Original: there was bin in the east side Suggested revision: there was a bin on the east side Why it matters: Include the article 'a' and use 'on' for directional sides.
- 6. Grammar and word choice Original: and that was redesigned by recycling bins at current period. Suggested revision: which has been replaced by recycling bins in the current layout. Why it matters: Use 'which has been replaced by' for clearer passive structure when describing modern changes.
- 7. Incorrect tense Original: staff dining rooms are removed Suggested revision: the staff dining rooms have been removed Why it matters: Use present perfect tense to describe changes completed between the past and present plans.
- 8. Hyphenation error Original: take away food Suggested revision: take-away food Why it matters: Hyphenate compound adjectives preceding a noun.
- 9. Subject-verb agreement Original: was Suggested revision: were Why it matters: Plural nouns like 'toilets' require the plural verb 'were'.
- 10. Incorrect passive voice Original: that was stayed Suggested revision: which have remained Why it matters: 'Stay' is an intransitive verb and should not be used in the passive voice.
- 11. Unnatural phrase Original: in present time. Suggested revision: in the present layout. Why it matters: 'In the present layout' or 'today' is more natural when comparing map plans.
- 12. Subject-verb agreement Original: outdoor seating are added Suggested revision: outdoor seating has been added Why it matters: 'Seating' is an uncountable noun requiring a singular verb.
Suggested Rewrites
- of university cafe of a university café
- cafe's café
- kitchen remained unchanged. the kitchen remained unchanged, though the serving area inside was altered.
- details into changes the west side of existing serving area of all food and drink are segmented by three parts such as hot meals, salad bar and barbecue. details, the original serving area was replaced by a hot meals counter, while a salad bar and barbecue area were introduced along the western wall.
- there was bin in the east side there was a bin on the east side
- and that was redesigned by recycling bins at current period. which has been replaced by recycling bins in the current layout.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report effectively highlights the main structural changes shown in the cafe plans and includes a clear overview. However, grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing frequently obscure precision. The main priority is to improve sentence structure and subject-verb agreement to ensure accurate spatial descriptions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the primary changes across both plans and provides a clear overview of transformed and unchanged features.
Ensure spatial locations, such as the barbecue outside and the salad bar along the west wall, are described with complete accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically across paragraphs, though some transition signals are used mechanically.
Use more natural linking phrases rather than repetitive formulaic expressions like 'With regard to the remaining information'.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of vocabulary is used to describe changes, though word choices are occasionally awkward.
Refine precise prepositional phrases and verb-noun collocations when describing map modifications.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted, but grammatical errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and verb formation occur frequently.
Focus on correcting passive structures and agreement errors, such as 'there were toilets' and 'outdoor seating has been added'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The plans below show a college café before it was redesigned and how it looks now.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.