The plans below show a college café before it was redesigned and how it looks now.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The plans showThe plan shows how a college cafe has been redesigned. There have been several changes, the most noticeable being the increase in outdoor seatingoutside seatings, the introduction of a salad barintroduction of salad bar and an addition of recycling bins.
Prior to the redesign,Before redesigning, on the top left side of the cafe was a kitchen with a small dedicated area for serving all kinds of food and drinkfoods and drinks. The largest partLargest part of the cafe was meant for tables and chairs , whilewhile, a small space was intended for two separate staff dining rooms. Furthermore, on the rightrights side, near the entrance, there was a bin and in the bottom-right corner, space was arrangedat the corner space was arranged for toilets.
In the redesigned layout,After redesigning, the serving area was changedserving area was changed into a dedicated counter for hot mealsinto space for hot meals, while a small salad bar has been added to the far left wall of the main seating areato the right side of the tables and chairs area. In addition, staff dining rooms were transformed into coffee bar and a room for collecting take away food. The bins near the entranceBins near the entrance have been expandedexpended and converted into recycling ones. Also, an outdoor seating areaoutside sitting area was built along with a space on the left side reserved for a barbecue area.reserved for barbecue.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response effectively highlights the main structural changes shown in the plans and includes a clear overview. The strongest aspect is the logical organisation contrasting the previous and current layouts, while the main limitation is the presence of grammatical inaccuracies, particularly missing articles and incorrect word forms. Prioritise refining grammatical precision and spatial accuracy to achieve greater consistency.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and main features are well described, accurately capturing key modifications across both plans.
Ensure all spatial details are precise, such as placing the salad bar along the far left wall rather than to the right of the seating area.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into past and present layouts, creating a clear overall progression.
Vary cohesive devices beyond basic transitional phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of vocabulary related to structural change and layout is used flexibly throughout.
Pay attention to word choices and spellings, correcting errors such as 'seatings' and 'expended'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, though control over articles and prepositions is inconsistent.
Focus on accurate article usage with singular countable nouns, such as writing 'a coffee bar' and 'the serving area'.