The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.
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Sample Response
The chartline graph illustrates the figures for men and women employees in sixfive different employment sectors - manufacturing, communications, finance/banking, wholesale and retail trade, public sector (non-defence) and public sector (defence) - of the Republic of Freedonia in 1975.
Overall, the number of male workers wasare considerably higher in all five employment sectors with a significant gap between genders in manufacturing jobs, while the smallest gapless gap was observed in the communications sectorin communication sector. Furthermore, both male and female workers' number was higher in public sector (non-defensive), whereas communication recordedrecored the lowest.
The figure for male workersworkiers was noticeably higher in public (non-defensive) sector which accounted for approximately 850,000850, followed by wholesalewhilesale/retail trade and manufacturing, at around 700 and slightlyslighly below 700, respectivelyrespecively. Meanwhile, the figures for male workers in communication and finance/banking sectors recorded only at around 400 and figure for public sector (defence) was at the lowest point, at around 210.
Female employees recorded a similar patternthe similar trend where the highest figurehight figure was recorded in public sector (non-defence),(non-defensive, approximately at 650 followed by wholesale and retail trade, at 510,000. Manufacturing510. manufacturing and communication had a very small gaphad very small gap of around 50 workers whereas female workers recorded only at around 110 and 20 as lowest. Furthermore, a significant gender gap was observed in manufacturing sector, whereas communicationsin contrast communication recorded a subtle gap.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The report effectively presents the main features of the chart, providing a clear overview and accurately contrasting figures for both genders across the sectors. However, it completely omits the scale unit (thousands), misrepresents the chart type as a line graph, and contains frequent spelling and grammatical errors. To improve, ensure measurement units are stated precisely and carefully proofread to eliminate basic mechanical errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies key comparative trends and sector figures, but it omits the vital scale unit (thousands) and refers to a line graph rather than a horizontal point/bar chart.
Always include the correct unit of measurement (e.g., in thousands) from the axis to ensure all reported data is factual.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged logically with a clear introduction, overall overview, and body paragraphs grouped by gender data.
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitions to avoid repetitive sentence structures when presenting comparative figures.
Lexical Resource
While adequate comparison vocabulary is present, frequent spelling errors and minor misnomers limit the overall lexical control.
Review and correct basic spelling mistakes such as 'workiers', 'whilesale', and 'slighly' before finalizing the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentence forms, but subject-verb agreement errors, missing punctuation, and faulty sentence constructions occur frequently.
Focus on subject-verb agreement with plural subjects and ensure clauses introduced by contrast words are grammatically complete.