The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
Sample Response
The presented bar graph demonstrates the average use of water by industries in several countries every year. In general, the highest water usages could be seen in chemical industries while fuel industries spend the least water supply.
Looking at the details, the chemical industry requires about 430 million of cubic meters of ground water and 240 million of cubic meters of public supply. This figure is accounted as almost twice higher than other industries, for instances, meal/beverages, metal and paper industry which spend only 110, 240, and 190 million cubic meters of ground water use respectively. Metal and paper industries utilise about 90 and 20 million of cubic meters of public supply respectively and they are reckoned as almost two and seven times lower than water usage quantity for the chemical industry.
In contrast, fuel industry consumes the lowest amount of water. It only pertains a figure of 70 million of cubic meters of ground water, approximately 3 times lower than water usage for the chemical industry. Meanwhile, due to public supply, both fuel and textiles industries consume a very small amount of water which is 10 million of cubic meters, almost 24 times lower than water demand of the chemical industry.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match the time frame Original: every year Suggested revision: in a year Why it matters: The prompt describes usage in a single typical year.
- 2. Use uncountable noun Original: usages Suggested revision: use Why it matters: 'Usage' is uncountable in this general expression.
- 3. Use singular category Original: chemical industries Suggested revision: the chemical industry Why it matters: The chart contains one chemical-industry category.
- 4. Use singular category Original: fuel industries Suggested revision: the fuel industry Why it matters: The chart contains one fuel-industry category.
- 5. Use correct water verb Original: spend the least water supply Suggested revision: use the least water Why it matters: Industries use or consume water; they do not spend a water supply.
- 6. Remove extra preposition Original: 430 million of cubic meters Suggested revision: 430 million cubic metres Why it matters: A measurement after 'million' does not take 'of'.
- 7. Fix measurement phrase Original: 240 million of cubic meters of public supply Suggested revision: 240 million cubic metres from the public supply Why it matters: The measurement does not take 'of', and the source is expressed with 'from'.
- 8. Add definite article Original: fuel industry consumes Suggested revision: the fuel industry consumes Why it matters: The named chart category requires the definite article.
- 9. Use direct reporting verb Original: pertains a figure of Suggested revision: uses Why it matters: 'Pertains' cannot mean consumes or records a quantity here.
- 10. Remove extra preposition Original: 70 million of cubic meters Suggested revision: 70 million cubic metres Why it matters: The unit follows 'million' directly.
- 11. Correct the comparison Original: approximately 3 times lower Suggested revision: about one-sixth as much Why it matters: Fuel uses 70 million cubic metres of groundwater compared with 430 million for chemicals.
- 12. Use source preposition Original: due to public supply Suggested revision: for public supply Why it matters: 'For' correctly introduces the water-source category being compared.
Suggested Rewrites
- every year in a year
- usages use
- chemical industries the chemical industry
- fuel industries the fuel industry
- spend the least water supply use the least water
- 430 million of cubic meters 430 million cubic metres
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report offers a clear overview and accurately identifies the chemical and fuel industries as the highest and lowest users, supported by several correct figures. However, coverage is incomplete because machinery is omitted and important public-supply data for foods and drinks is missing, while some ratio comparisons are inaccurate. Prioritise complete category coverage and compare the two water sources directly using exact values rather than unreliable multiplicative claims.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview and several figures are accurate, but machinery and key public-supply data are omitted and some stated ratios do not match the chart.
Cover every industry at least once and replace the inaccurate ratio claims with direct comparisons using the labelled values.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and a sensible movement from the leading industry to lower-use examples support progression, though some references and comparisons are hard to track.
Group industries systematically by water source or usage level and make each comparison's reference value explicit.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in topic vocabulary, but frequent collocational errors such as 'spend water supply', 'accounted as', and 'pertains a figure' reduce precision.
Prefer standard combinations such as 'use water', 'accounted for', and 'stood at', especially when reporting quantities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures and remains understandable, but recurring article, preposition, plural, and comparison-form errors weaken control.
Review countable quantity phrases and comparative structures, using forms such as '430 million cubic metres' and 'about six times as much as'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.