The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
Sample Response
The supplied bar graph reveals the utilisation of water in one yearevery year by different industries in several countries. Water useThe usage of water is categorised into two sources groundwater and public supplywhich are ground water and civic supply.
To begin with, some industries use large quantities of groundwateruse the vast consumption of soil water in huge quantity. It starts from 430 million cubic metres430 million of cubic meters for the chemical industry, the highest figurefor chemicals as the highest consumption, and then it is followed by metal and paper at 240 and 190 million cubic metres, respectivelywhich are 240m and 190m consumption respectively. Subsequently, other industriesbusinesses also consume larger amountsconsume high figure of groundwater than of public-supply waterof soil water than public supply namely fuel and textiles- these industries useboth of it spend 70 and 80 million cubic metres, respectively80m and 70m in a row. Meanwhile, the machinery industrymachinery industry has the lowest consumption of ground water which is just 10m.
There are, however, some industries which use morebusinesses which prefer public-supply water than groundwaterpublic supply than ground water. Food and drinks are the great deals on the usage of common supply water. The lowest consumption of public water is recorded for the textile and fuel industriescomes from textile and fuel industries which are similar in number- 10 million cubic metres each10m for both.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a sensible structure that groups industries by water source and includes several correct groundwater figures. However, it lacks a clear overview, reverses the fuel and textile figures, incorrectly identifies food and drinks as the largest public-supply user, and omits several important public-supply values. Prioritise an accurate overview and compare the two sources using standard terminology before adding selected supporting data.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Several groundwater figures are correctly reported, but the absence of an overview, a wrong public-supply maximum, and substantial omissions limit task coverage.
State that chemicals use the most of both sources, then include their 240-million public supply and accurate fuel and textile groundwater figures of 70 and 80 million.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs separate the introduction, groundwater, and public supply, creating basic progression despite incomplete comparisons.
Add a dedicated overview and organise each detail paragraph around clear high-low comparisons rather than a list of industries.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant vocabulary is attempted, but frequent misuse of terms such as 'soil water', 'civic supply', and 'spend water' reduces precision.
Use 'groundwater', 'public-supply water', 'consume', 'amount', and 'million cubic metres' consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in articles, comparison forms, agreement, pronouns, and noun phrases make many sentences awkward, though the general meaning remains understandable.
Build simpler accurate sentences such as 'The chemicals industry consumed 430 million cubic metres of groundwater, followed by metal at 240 million'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.