The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the public water and groundwater consumptions in 7 industries. Overall, it can be seen that chemical industry uses the biggest volume of water. Moreover, almost all industries require groundwater than public supply water. In detail, chemical industry utilizes 670 million cubic metres water- 430m of this is from the groundwater and the remaining is from the public supply. This volume is less than half in the metal industry, 240 million and 90 million cubic metres groundwater and public supply water respectively. Textile, papers and fuel industries, on the other hand, consume the least volume of water from the public supply. To be specific, only about 10-20 million cubic meter water is consumed by these industries from public supply while 70-110 is from groundwater. In contrast, food and drinks industries consume more water from the public supply, 190 million cubic metres while only 110 from groundwater. Finally, machinery industry utilises 110 million cubic metres water of which 100 is public supply water.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify water source Original: public water Suggested revision: public-supply water Why it matters: This wording clearly distinguishes the supplied water from groundwater.
- 2. Use uncountable noun Original: consumptions Suggested revision: consumption Why it matters: Consumption is uncountable when referring collectively to water use.
- 3. Improve comparison phrase Original: in 7 industries Suggested revision: across seven industries Why it matters: Across is the more natural preposition for a comparison covering several industries.
- 4. Add definite article Original: chemical industry uses Suggested revision: the chemical industry uses Why it matters: A singular specified industry needs the definite article here.
- 5. Use precise adjective Original: biggest Suggested revision: largest Why it matters: Largest is the more precise adjective for volume.
- 6. Correct the proportion Original: almost all industries Suggested revision: most industries Why it matters: Groundwater use is higher in five of the seven industries, so most is more accurate than almost all.
- 7. Fix comparison structure Original: require groundwater than public supply water. Suggested revision: use more groundwater than public-supply water. Why it matters: The comparative structure requires more before groundwater and use accurately describes consumption.
- 8. Use industry name Original: papers Suggested revision: paper Why it matters: Paper functions as the attributive industry name and should be singular.
- 9. Fix quantity phrase Original: least volume Suggested revision: smallest volumes Why it matters: Smallest volumes is the natural expression for comparing water quantities across three industries.
- 10. Fix unit phrase Original: 10-20 million cubic meter water Suggested revision: 10–20 million cubic metres of water Why it matters: The plural unit requires metres and the quantity takes of water.
- 11. Add definite article Original: from public supply Suggested revision: from the public supply Why it matters: The specific water-supply source requires the definite article.
- 12. Correct groundwater range Original: 70-110 is from groundwater Suggested revision: 70–190 million cubic metres come from groundwater Why it matters: The chart shows groundwater figures of 70, 80 and 190 for fuel, textiles and paper respectively.
Suggested Rewrites
- public water public-supply water
- consumptions consumption
- in 7 industries across seven industries
- chemical industry uses the chemical industry uses
- biggest largest
- almost all industries most industries
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the dominant industry and the broad contrast between groundwater and public supply, while supporting most comparisons with relevant figures. Its main weakness is some incomplete or inaccurate coverage, especially the stated groundwater range for fuel, textiles and paper, alongside recurring article and comparison errors. Prioritise checking every grouped figure against the chart and presenting a sharper, fully accurate overview.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly relevant figures cover the main patterns, but the groundwater range for fuel, textiles and paper is inaccurate because paper uses 190 million cubic metres.
Verify each grouped range against the chart and explicitly distinguish paper's much higher groundwater use from fuel and textiles.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a generally logical industry-by-industry sequence and uses clear contrast markers, although the single-paragraph presentation weakens the organisation.
Separate the overview from two logically grouped detail paragraphs, such as high-use and lower-use industries.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of reporting vocabulary, but awkward collocations such as 'groundwater consumptions' and 'require groundwater than' reduce precision.
Use natural comparison phrases such as 'consume more groundwater than publicly supplied water' and maintain accurate unit expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the data clearly, despite recurring article, noun-form and comparative errors.
Proofread articles, plurals and quantity structures, especially forms such as 'million cubic metres of water' and 'more ... than'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.